Recent reviews by coolantdrinker1

Zeepkist is a great game for inbetween. Able to be run offline on practically any ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ PC you own, its perfect for my week long trips to school to kill time.
If you have no idea what awaits you, imagine Trackmania with none of your own propulsion. Just you, your weight, gravity and any friendly neighborhood boost pad. Sounds less amazing than it is. I advise you to try it for your own.

Even in its early stage, it has a surprisingly polished base game to build tons of junk on (Workshop support added for custom levels btw). Only drawback in my eyes is the lack of music and rather short amount of playtime, if you´re the type of person who´s alright with just having finished a track somewhat quickly (New tracks are being added with nearly every update though!). If you like breaking your nuts over getting Author medals everywhere, you can waste months if not years over here.

I would wish for fitting music and Workshop support for custom zeepkists.
Something else I would wish for, is a Karting mode where you´re racing go karts against each other with their own propulsion, but that would kinda break the point of the game, wouldn´t it?
At this point I want to mention: Older Gran Turismo Menu Soundtracks (GT1-4) fit this game very well, so does Eurobeat.

Also, everyone be hating on Level 23 here.
But honestly Yannic, you deserve a special place in hell for placing those trees on X01.
I only wrote this review just to tell you.

Please give this a try, you might just find *something* to like.

Honestly, this game has issues.
Such as (and not limited to):
-Lack of content (especially when compared to Project Torques predecessors Heat Online and Level R)
-you need to login to a separate forum to be able to play
-while we're at that point, certain 2000s low budget free online game vibes.
-May cause problems with modern systems
-lots of germans okay this is not an issue I'm just german myself and cringe on every single german word I read in this game
-bugs.
-in general dated game

and the biggest issue:
it's not unplayable, you still get a few servers full of speed racists.
But for how long.

In the last week, the average amount of players (on the European Server) was about 50-80 players in total among all the gamemodes in the evening.

This game needs and honestly deserves more average players.
This game needs and deserves support in any way possible.

Yes, it has problems. But those are being tackled. By a small team, but they're tackled.
-The devs are working on getting back the contents of Level R and Heat Online
-Bugs and High-End PC issues are being taken care of
-Integrated Steam login is in the works to replace the Forum login
-.... 2000s cheap online game vibes cause nostalgia?
-hey, there's not only germans
-.... well, it still is going to be a dated game but that means it runs extraordinarily well on Low-End Computers, even decently with low quality internet!
-very nice Selection of gamemodes even with different handling models (such as Simulation, Arcade, CTF and a professional-ish racing series """inspired""" by all the NASCARS)
-great handling model, nice arcade handling without the usual brake to drift
-you can somewhat fine tune your car to mess with your handling and stuff!
-tuning is nice


So, if you feel adressed somewhere in this wall of text, please give this a try.


smol advice for potential beginners for reading/skipping through this Review:
Do not choose the Corus S3 as your first ride, rather take any of the other three. Yes, I know, it looks arguably better than the others and has a six speed, but you'll pay those looks with comparably garbage handling.

Actually original and fun game concept for once, big mcthankies for that.
If you haven´t got yet what this game is about, imagine the classic/only game on your old Nokia brick: Snake.
Now add 3D.
Now replace the snake with a bus.
Now replace the environment with a set of multiple different locations like cities, other cities, suburbs that are in a different artstyle for some reason, art museums, the abstract art in mentioned art museums and the location I would best describe as nirvana.

Oh, also the bus can jump.

It´s a very fun concept and even more fun game, although it still suffers from bugs (I haven´t really witnessed any of them, it´s just what I see on the official discord server for Snakeybus, which is very cool and good and you can say stuff there, shameless advert, I´m not getting paid for this :^) ).

However, even with the bugs, it has a certain quality to it that you can´t see very often. And yes, this is a compliment.

Although it takes a while to get into, it´s very fun once you get there and I wouldn´t change it. The speed of the bus is keeping things challenging, especially after getting a decent length.

Also, you learn to get used to the speed quicker if you think you have to hold down W constantly to keep moving, which is not the case but only making your bus a bit faster. Speaking of experience.

I would definitely recommend this piece of actually good modern art and like how it tastes.

Only thing I have to criticize is that the progression is going way too fast, after about one and a half to two hours of playing the first map, I have unlocked every other map in the game as well as earned enough credits to buy most other busses.

Nonetheless, a breathtaking experience definitely worth the money. nine monies to be exact.




















YOU`RE BREATHTAKING
























Also,the game over screen is a BREATHTAKING look, you don´t see a 233 wagon long bus flying through Paris everyday.

♥♥♥♥ went from 0 to 100 real quick.

Okay, first up the things this game taught me in 45 minutes:
- Russians do not english
- Every tourist in Russia gets a free car from his friend
- Bears and Deers are so stronk they can shove cars around
- a VAZ 2108 gets faster and more powerful the longer you drive it
- Russian women do not know the difference between a car breaking down and a crash
- The police don´t give a damn about what you do, but you shall not break the speed limit.
Seriously, I had a mission where a dude was bound to the front of my car and the police did not care.
- Russia has only one road and one city.


Okay, now the actual review.
I would like to write in broken russian english, but I forgot it already.
So, in this game you take the role of a random dude who just came to Russia for whatever reason and got a free car, a VAZ 2108 aka. Lada Samara. From then on you can either continue with the somewhat existent story, go racing, drifting, rallying or just cruise around.

How does it drive?
Usual Unity handling from any other Unity mobile Racing Game. Still drives better than NFS 2015, if I´m honest.

Any other car?
Nope. Only your Samara. You can tune it however. Well, "tune". You can repaint your car, the cars rims, put advertisement on the back window and a few different liveries you can unlock through races, aaaaand that´s it. You can also improve the cars performance by just driving around. After some time cruising you can choose what to improve: Acceleration, Top Speed, Brakes or Handling.

Sounds pretty basic if you ask me.
Well, it is, really. But for 69 (hehe) cents, it´s quite a lot of fun. Don´t expect too much though. It´s just a mobile game port ffs.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ бляты.

(attention sh1tlords: SPOILER ABOUT THE BEGINNING!!!!!1111ELEVEN)






























game starts off by a girl itching her crotch
another girl comes by and asks if she may have a sexual disease
girl responds: how u think so m9
another girl says: ur roommate told me u had so much secks u could shove bowling balls up your private parts
then i stopped playing

"very dank, much hentai with clothes, would scissor bowling ball. lolvo/69"- GabeN

(This is actually serious)

neinkraft with tanks.

Hello and welcome to Scraps, a project I´m following since a year or two and I actually bought today because I forget everything that comes in my mind in 2 minutes. And compared to its state two years ago, this has actually taken pretty big steps. Only the good parts didn´t change at all, e.g. the gameplay itself.

wot is dis?

This actually is one example of a yet unnamed genre, I call it Build and Fight, call it how you want. So the genre of Robocraft and Homebrew (since they added guns now with the latest update). Gameplay is simple: Build stuff, destroy stuff, collect stuff and repair and build stuff with your collected stuff. ez.

build stuff?

Yes. You get a nice range of parts and then you just build a vehicle out of it. How it´s used and built is up to you, whether you want a lightweight ram with dozens of engines doing 400 km/h or a giant a55 tank with dozens of cannons or something rather normal, depends on your imagination. Building itself is really easy, but also depends on physics.
Remember: Even though you can put enough weapons on your vehicle to eradicate complete europe within seconds, you can´t expect your vehicle to do 150 km/h, like in Robocraft. The limit of how much you can put on your vehicle doesn´t depend on your player rank, but on the servers scrap limit. So, compared to Robocraft, this is balanced very well. Also, you can tune the suspension on your vehicle to edit the handling and center of mass.

range of parts?

You start off with a chassis and a cockpit. You can choose between three chassis yet, a small lightweight one for cheap and light vehicles, a normal one and a big one with enough space for at least 3 million engines and cannons. Then you build on energy generators (because guns need energy to work) and batteries, cooling parts (because guns get hot while firing), armor to not die the second you get out of the garage, engines, guns and extensions to get more space you need for another 1 million engines.


can i play dis on my potato?

YES YOU CAN. JUST DO IT. (sry)
If you compare this to other games based on Unity, this game has excellent performance and looks fairly nice.

Any cons?

Except having almost no players, not really. This is Early Access, so you can´t expect this to be 100% bug free, but so far In the last year I played the demos of Scraps, I haven´t encountered one bug.

The End?
In my opinion, this is the greatest example of this Build and Fight genre. Robocraft is nice, but these idiotic rank limits and nonexistence of balance are really unnecessary. And to be honest, no one knows how long it will take until Homebrew gets into a well playable state. Buy this. Please. We need players here. For real.


k thx bai.

So, after I bought this game for about 6 dollars on *steam censorship*.com, I thought about making a review about this.

So, how does it drive?

Actually, better than I thought. I expected some kind of GRID 2-ish handling, but it drives way more like DiRT 3 with more grip and only on ashpalt. Although it is pretty much realism-trimmed, It´s still very fun to drive, especially the Street Cars.
And if you´re looking for the most realistic game of the GRID franchise, here you go.
The Drift Races still suck tho.

Content?

Yes.

How much?

Very much. Most tracks are taken from GRID/GRID 2, but all of them are redone. San Francisco looks way better now. But of course there are multiple new tracks, a few city tracks and race tracks like Hockenheimring and Red Bull Ring (I think, read that somewhere)
There is a huge range of cars, everything from numerous kinds of street cars, over classic japanese tuners, muscles and even damn racing trucks, to formula/indycars and touring cars.

Grafficks?

They exist. And it looks awesome for a game on an engine from 2006. And the difference in graphics between DiRT and GRID Autosport is like the difference between Battlefield BC and Battlefield 4.

ayy lmao, dis no sim racur, dis no hev weel optiuns.

You´re right, except you´re wrong. Codie´s fixed that in the meanwhile and if you got a Force Feedback Wheel, please try this, this is so much fun with a FFB Wheel.

Multiplayer?

Exists too. Haven´t tried it yet though.

Overpriced?

Actually not at all. GRID 2 is overpriced, I won´t pay 30 bucks for Tokyo Drift Simulator. But for the content this is actually wellpriced. Wouldn´t buy the DLCs though, not a fan of them anyway.

Cockpit view?

Yeeeeahhh-no. Something weird. You have a Dashcam and a normal Cockpit Cam, but the dash in Cockpit Cam is all blurred out for you, so you can´t see that Codemasters didn´t put an HQ Cockpit in your car or even the dials don´t work.

Story?

noone cares m8

The End?

Yes. Overall this is a Wellpriced, good looking, well drivable Racing Simulator. Get it. And if you´re a ch33ky ass n199a like me who doesn´t want to pay 40 bucks for a game, get it on *steam censorship* or *steam censorship* for way less money. Whatever it costs below 40 bucks, it´s worth it. Get it. NOW!

Are you tired of buttonmashing in superfast songs in Audiosurf, but still want to race your own music?
Well, this is a very nice alternative and its definitely worth 15 bucks.

The gameplay is pretty simple: Drive with your car on a track generated by your song and try to keep up with the speed, while dodging obstacles, jumping and drifting. You can get a turbo for collecting little boxes spreaded all over the track. The faster you are, the more points you get. The End.

The looks are.... decent. Definitely not Frostbite 3, but it´s on Audiosurf 2 level. It uses the "NEON EVERYWHERE."-Style, similar to Distance, but a bit brighter and with more colours. Also, nice by the way, all the lights on the track blink to the beat of the music.

The tracks themselves don´t look awesome, they drive awesome. You have bumps, ramps, corkscrews, cliffs, giant bumps, loopings and many many corners to drive, boost, drift, dodge and jump through as the width of the track differs from corner to corner. But as I said, they don´t look awesome. Sure there´s NEON EVERYWHERE, but all you can see from the track are glowing columns hanging beside the track, neon fans and a city far, far away from the track. It looks quite empty.

Overall this is already a very solid and fun game, although with ver 0.5.2 it seems to still have quite a way until full release. Looking for an Audiosurf alternative? Get this. Really, please.

Features I would like to see in this game:
-Workshop support for e.g. user created cars, environment styles, track hazards/gimmicks (them corkscrews and etc.)
-An additional faster Gamemode, the standard is a bit slow IMO
-Tachometer in BPM
-Cockpit view, maybe?
-Marathon mode (game/player chooses a few tracks of his library and the player has to drive them all on one giant track)
-AudioSync (tracks on the charts can be downloaded to drive)
-Live Multiplayer (like the ghost feature, the cars all drive simultaneously on the track)

Drive. Spin. Crash. Boom. Ded. No Description needed.