What is this game with the generic fantasy RPG name?
- Shadowsword: Ravenlands
- Swordlands: Ravenshadow
- Landshadow: Swordraven
That last one sounds pretty cool. A heroic raven with sword-like tallons darkens the lands with his terrifying shadow!

Ravensword: Shadowlands
Note: The exact events have been slightly altered for the sake of sarcasm.

The games starts with a cut scene, "A great war has been raging in the north lands for centuries." [Very long awkward pause while the camera drifts over the landscape.] "The dark elves have retreated to their last remaining fortress." [Another pause with the camera looking at a tower within a fortress.] "The great mage summons his army to battle." [A guy with a staff stands on a tower. Super awkward pause. More standing... A breeze makes the guy's cape slightly billow. End of scene.]

A soldier with a sword appears and I'm a bird [could it be a raven?!] flying over his right shoulder telling him what to do. [Actually no, I'm not a bird. I'm a flying camera. The options are first person or awkward-over-the-shoulder first person.] I enter the battle with sword swinging. [Wow, combat is really clunky. How do I hit things? The elf has to be directly in front of me? What's going on?! Thankfully these 3 NPC soldiers can kill stuff.] A big ugly troll enters the battle. [These graphics a pretty ugly given how detailed they are... and it's not just the troll.] I run away because I can't see what I'm doing ... The tower explodes in a small puff of fire and the cut scene tells me everyone is dead except one person.

I awake in a room. [Look it's me!] There's a woman near the fireplace. The scene goes exactly like every other scene where you awake with a woman in an RPG, which is notably different from the version seen in movies. [Wow, this woman is hideous!] "Clean yourself up." I am now a member of their guild, which, with the addition of me, has 3 members in it. [So... this lady finds a random dude in a pile of dead bodies, brings him home, cares for him while he's unconscious and fills in his guild membership form noting his main attribute to be "Not completely dead." I don't think I want to be in this guild.]

I visit the guild leader, who is even more ugly... "Blah, blah, go visit blacksmith."

I walk around the town talking to people who try to sell me things I can't afford. At least the blacksmith is attractive, and by that I mean normal-looking.

I'm sent off to visit a wizard in a cabin.

I shoot a few boars by constantly running backwards and waiting for the boar to be right in front of me.

I enter the cabin to find a tiny guy in a glass bottle with a stopper in it. I'm amazed that he's a great wizard. [This is evidenced by what must have transpired: 1) the dude shrunk himself, 2) he teleported inside a bottle that clearly has a neck too narrow for him, 3) he levitated a cork into the top of the bottle, and 4) he waited around in the bottle hoping someone would stop by to help him.] He asks for my help to get him out of the bottle by collecting something from a nearby cave.

Quit.
Exit.
Uninstall.

What is this game with the generic fantasy RPG name? - [i]Shadowsword: Ravenlands[/i] - [i]Swordlands: Ravenshadow[/i] - [i]Landshadow: Swordraven[/i] That last one sounds pretty cool. A heroic raven with sword-like tallons darkens the lands with his terrifying shadow! [b]Ravensword: Shadowlands[/b] [i]Note: The exact events have been slightly altered for the sake of sarcasm.[/i] The games starts with a cut scene, "A great war has been raging in the north lands for centuries." [Very long awkward pause while the camera drifts over the landscape.] "The dark elves have retreated to their last remaining fortress." [Another pause with the camera looking at a tower within a fortress.] "The great mage summons his army to battle." [A guy with a staff stands on a tower. Super awkward pause. More standing... A breeze makes the guy's cape slightly billow. End of scene.] A soldier with a sword appears and I'm a bird [could it be a raven?!] flying over his right shoulder telling him what to do. [Actually no, I'm not a bird. I'm a flying camera. The options are first person or awkward-over-the-shoulder first person.] I enter the battle with sword swinging. [Wow, combat is really clunky. How do I hit things? The elf has to be directly in front of me? What's going on?! Thankfully these 3 NPC soldiers can kill stuff.] A big ugly troll enters the battle. [These graphics a pretty ugly given how detailed they are... and it's not just the troll.] I run away because I can't see what I'm doing ... The tower explodes in a small puff of fire and the cut scene tells me everyone is dead except one person. [I wonder who that could be...] I awake in a room. [Look it's me!] There's a woman near the fireplace. The scene goes exactly like every other scene where you awake with a woman in an RPG, which is notably different from the version seen in movies. [Wow, this woman is hideous!] "Clean yourself up." [I start fiddling with my face... like my hair, beard, jaw size and eye color. I didn't see the plastic surgeon but he's got to be here somewhere. Too bad he's not a very good one. I can be super ugly or slightly more ugly with a painted on mullet and beard. I choose the bald, shaven look.] I am now a member of their guild, which, with the addition of me, has 3 members in it. [So... this lady finds a random dude in a pile of dead bodies, brings him home, cares for him while he's unconscious and fills in his guild membership form noting his main attribute to be "Not completely dead." I don't think I want to be in this guild.] I visit the guild leader, who is even more ugly... "Blah, blah, go visit blacksmith." I walk around the town talking to people who try to sell me things I can't afford. At least the blacksmith is attractive, and by that I mean normal-looking. I'm sent off to visit a wizard in a cabin. I shoot a few boars by constantly running backwards and waiting for the boar to be right in front of me. I enter the cabin to find a tiny guy in a glass bottle with a stopper in it. I'm amazed that he's a great wizard. [This is evidenced by what must have transpired: 1) the dude shrunk himself, 2) he teleported inside a bottle that clearly has a neck too narrow for him, 3) he levitated a cork into the top of the bottle, and 4) he waited around in the bottle hoping someone would stop by to help him.] He asks for my help to get him out of the bottle by collecting something from a nearby cave. Quit. Exit. Uninstall.