If you don't want to read to the end, here is the tl;dr: don't bother!

So, where to begin?

Getting into the game was a bit of a trial. No full-screen, drop-down settings which didn't seem to work, and no graphics settings to tinker with. There is also no controller support so it's WASD and mouse all the way. Subtitle text is difficult to read (very cursive) but you might need them because the protagonist's voice is hard to hear. That's the boring stuff done.

Okay, on with the game then. The opening grounds are more the setting for a family picnic and not at all ghostly. Just one slightly curved path past a pile of shiny columns on one side, and what look like Mediterranean arches and Roman statues on the other - a curious setting for a haunted house with 'cryptic graves'. Never mind. No old trees, no low mists, no overgrown foliage, just plastic-looking grass models that aren't animated. It's hard not to notice these non-ghostly things because the only other thing to look at is your irritating accomplice: Stan. He has a maddening habit of stopping dead and pivoting on one heel to face you, say something without moving his lips, then turning his body forward again a moment before his head snaps to follow suit. And every 3-4 steps he does this same thing, and I was just about ready to punch him when we arrived at the house. At last! Finally, I was able to barge past Stan to the doors...

Now, no haunted-house game is complete without a heavy, creaking door slowly opening to reveal a dark interior. So yeah, you guessed it: no creaking door... Instead, clicking the doors zaps you back to the opening title screen instead. Oh! Has it crashed? What happened?! After a delay, the game cuts to you now standing inside the house, robbing you of any chance to hear the doors slam closed behind you (apparently they slammed shut while you were left staring in confusion at the title screen - oh well). The mouse behaviour has been changed from mouse-look to mouse-click for no good reason whatsoever (a few curse words and bad tempered clicking fixed that) and so I prepared myself for what I hoped was a game that would be ten times better than the opening scene had been....

If you thought Stan was annoying before, he's no better now. After a few words, he takes to pacing the same route back and forth repeatedly and doing nothing useful whatsoever, so I'm glad he's not on MY pay-cheque. Oh wait - it's supposed to me playing the game, not Stan, right? Okay - lots of doors to explore, so I'll make a start. Maybe Stan will have paced the ground into an escape tunnel by the time I get back.

Now, I was able to recognise the doors easily because, like in any game, they look like doors. But for any gamers who don't know what doors are, you will be reminded with the word DOOR emblazoned in huge, white letters over them whenever you pass one. Yet, the game is much less helpful in sharing things you need to know - like, well, how to proceed for starters. You'll need to know because, whenever you try to open a closed door, a prompt helpfully tells you that "it is not open". Well, obviously - which is why I'm trying to open it. After a full trip around upstairs and downstairs without finding a single openable door, I returned to pacing Stan (he didn't seem to know what he was doing either). I decided to restart at that point because there was simply nothing left to click on except some electrical equipment which non-helpfully pointed out that it was, er, electrical equipment - and yes, unusable.

Confused, I visited old friend Google. It transpires that what you are supposed to do is poke pacing-Stan (there is no helpful prompt to inform you of this). He will then stop pacing to tell you off about your inability to feel anything psychic (unfortunately, you don't get the opportunity to argue: "Well, Stan, the plastic grass and shiny columns outside really didn't help the mood, ya know?"). After that, it's back to trying things again. Still no doors opening. As pacing-Stan is the only thing that responds in the game, I finally attempted to poke his eye out with my mouse pointer and yes, I admit that was a little mean of me, but it resulted in him standing VERY close in my personal space and Saying More Things (capitalised for a bit of mood emphasis...). It seemed that, for artistic effect, someone was pointing a flashlight directly up to his face (Blair Witch style) and his eyes were wide and staring, so I missed what he actually said in that horror moment (oh wait - this isn't one of the game scares...), but I was then teleported into a new area (I guess if I don't know what doors are, it cannot be hoped I could climb stairs...).

I've now visited several bedrooms - and the graphic details are actually really very nice! The drab curtains, the long-abandoned beds - they look jaded, dusty and forgotten - perfect! But after admiring this work, it's back to frustration. The first room I visited (well, teleported to) was a small bedroom with a wardrobe that won't open, an empty bird-cage thing and a child's drawings. The door out of here is locked (this place sure loves locked doors). Again, nothing seems to work at first, but it seems you must be VERY precise at clicking a set of crayons. You're told to hit TAB to see them "through the veil". Through the veil means a blinding blue and white swirl with strange ghostly noises. The 'veil' told me nothing about why I was staring at crayons, but I could now drag a trunk around the room, a trunk I could not budge before staring at crayons. Feel free to send me an explanation that particular connection. And the game has been pretty much of this nature since. Nice graphics let down by frustrating and shoddy implementation.

The first scare comes in the form of an entity similar to urban legend's Slender Man (no, not Stan). It makes a groaning noise then snaps back to invisible (no ghostly fade). I haven't had any run-ins with it yet. But what strikes me now is the HUGE missed opportunity of this game to be good. You can easily see where the atmosphere has been created, a foggy light makes everything a little blurry, the torn wallpaper almost creates the feeling of 'dank' and the bedding looks like it's stayed there unused for 50 years, so that's all nicely done. It's BEGGING for chilling apparitions! I'm sure our Thin Dude could be quite frightening if he didn't just jump in as a 2D cut-out and then vanish when you approach it. Maybe he improves later, but to find out I will have to seriously force myself to continue playing - but I'm not sure I'm up to the task.

I would be cutting the game a little slack if this was an indie by a new developer and it was a couple of quid, but it's an Atari-published title. The rooms have atmosphere for sure, but it's all let down by frustrating implementation. I'm not sure whether this will be fixed by any patches. There has already been (to the developers' credit) patches to fix launch issues, but I think the gameplay problems are likely bigger than any patch. Sadly, a game I pre-ordered and waited a long time to try, and now I'm disappointed.

If you don't want to read to the end, here is the tl;dr: [B]don't bother![/B] So, where to begin? [h1]Game beginnings[/h1] Getting into the game was a bit of a trial. No full-screen, drop-down settings which didn't seem to work, and no graphics settings to tinker with. There is also no controller support so it's WASD and mouse all the way. Subtitle text is difficult to read (very cursive) but you might need them because the protagonist's voice is hard to hear. That's the boring stuff done. Okay, on with the game then. The opening grounds are more the setting for a family picnic and not at all ghostly. Just one slightly curved path past a pile of shiny columns on one side, and what look like Mediterranean arches and Roman statues on the other - a curious setting for a haunted house with 'cryptic graves'. Never mind. No old trees, no low mists, no overgrown foliage, just plastic-looking grass models that aren't animated. It's hard not to notice these non-ghostly things because the only other thing to look at is your irritating accomplice: Stan. He has a maddening habit of stopping dead and pivoting on one heel to face you, say something without moving his lips, then turning his body forward again a moment before his head snaps to follow suit. And every 3-4 steps he does this same thing, and I was just about ready to punch him when we arrived at the house. At last! Finally, I was able to barge past Stan to the doors... [h1]Let me in![/h1] Now, no haunted-house game is complete without a heavy, creaking door slowly opening to reveal a dark interior. So yeah, you guessed it: no creaking door... Instead, clicking the doors zaps you back to the opening title screen instead. Oh! Has it crashed? What happened?! After a delay, the game cuts to you now standing inside the house, robbing you of any chance to hear the doors slam closed behind you (apparently they slammed shut while you were left staring in confusion at the title screen - oh well). The mouse behaviour has been changed from mouse-look to mouse-click for no good reason whatsoever (a few curse words and bad tempered clicking fixed that) and so I prepared myself for what I hoped was a game that would be ten times better than the opening scene had been.... [h1]Stan, Stan - Annoying Man[/h1] If you thought Stan was annoying before, he's no better now. After a few words, he takes to pacing the same route back and forth repeatedly and doing nothing useful whatsoever, so I'm glad he's not on MY pay-cheque. Oh wait - it's supposed to me playing the game, not Stan, right? Okay - lots of doors to explore, so I'll make a start. Maybe Stan will have paced the ground into an escape tunnel by the time I get back. Now, I was able to recognise the doors easily because, like in any game, they look like doors. But for any gamers who don't know what doors are, you will be reminded with the word DOOR emblazoned in huge, white letters over them whenever you pass one. Yet, the game is much less helpful in sharing things you [i]need[/i] to know - like, well, how to proceed for starters. You'll need to know because, whenever you try to open a closed door, a prompt helpfully tells you that "it is not open". Well, obviously - which is why I'm trying to open it. After a full trip around upstairs and downstairs without finding a single openable door, I returned to pacing Stan (he didn't seem to know what he was doing either). I decided to restart at that point because there was simply nothing left to click on except some electrical equipment which non-helpfully pointed out that it was, er, electrical equipment - and yes, unusable. Confused, I visited old friend Google. It transpires that what you are [i]supposed[/i] to do is poke pacing-Stan (there is no helpful prompt to inform you of this). He will then stop pacing to tell you off about your inability to feel anything psychic (unfortunately, you don't get the opportunity to argue: "Well, Stan, the plastic grass and shiny columns outside really didn't help the mood, ya know?"). After that, it's back to trying things again. Still no doors opening. As pacing-Stan is the only thing that responds in the game, I finally attempted to poke his eye out with my mouse pointer and yes, I admit that was a little mean of me, but it resulted in him standing VERY close in my personal space and Saying More Things (capitalised for a bit of mood emphasis...). It seemed that, for artistic effect, someone was pointing a flashlight directly up to his face (Blair Witch style) and his eyes were wide and staring, so I missed what he actually said in that horror moment (oh wait - this isn't one of the game scares...), but I was then teleported into a new area (I guess if I don't know what doors are, it cannot be hoped I could climb stairs...). [h1]Beyond Stan...[/h1] I've now visited several bedrooms - and the graphic details are actually really very nice! The drab curtains, the long-abandoned beds - they look jaded, dusty and forgotten - perfect! But after admiring this work, it's back to frustration. The first room I visited (well, teleported to) was a small bedroom with a wardrobe that won't open, an empty bird-cage thing and a child's drawings. The door out of here is locked (this place sure loves locked doors). Again, nothing seems to work at first, but it seems you must be VERY precise at clicking a set of crayons. You're told to hit TAB to see them "through the veil". Through the veil means a blinding blue and white swirl with strange ghostly noises. The 'veil' told me nothing about why I was staring at crayons, but I could now drag a trunk around the room, a trunk I could not budge before staring at crayons. Feel free to send me an explanation that particular connection. And the game has been pretty much of this nature since. Nice graphics let down by frustrating and shoddy implementation. The first scare comes in the form of an entity similar to urban legend's Slender Man (no, not Stan). It makes a groaning noise then snaps back to invisible (no ghostly fade). I haven't had any run-ins with it yet. But what strikes me now is the HUGE missed opportunity of this game to be good. You can easily see where the atmosphere has been created, a foggy light makes everything a little blurry, the torn wallpaper almost creates the feeling of 'dank' and the bedding looks like it's stayed there unused for 50 years, so that's all nicely done. It's BEGGING for chilling apparitions! I'm sure our Thin Dude could be quite frightening if he didn't just jump in as a 2D cut-out and then vanish when you approach it. Maybe he improves later, but to find out I will have to seriously force myself to continue playing - but I'm not sure I'm up to the task. [h1]Conclusion[/h1] I would be cutting the game a little slack if this was an indie by a new developer and it was a couple of quid, but it's an Atari-published title. The rooms have atmosphere for sure, but it's all let down by frustrating implementation. I'm not sure whether this will be fixed by any patches. There has already been (to the developers' credit) patches to fix launch issues, but I think the gameplay problems are likely bigger than any patch. Sadly, a game I pre-ordered and waited a long time to try, and now I'm disappointed.