626 people found this review helpful
260 people found this review funny
3
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 52.8 hrs on record
Posted: Aug 19, 2015 @ 2:52pm

This game is a about a man named Jacob Ernholtz, and his last day alive. Or I suppose his last minute, since the clock is stuck at 3:22 AM the whole time, but It can't be broken because the alarm went off... Anyway this is less of a review and more of an analysis. That being said, there will be -

SPOILERS

I've spent a decent amount of time combing over this game and trying to piece together the narrative. At first glance it's clear that Jacob is obssessed over a painting of two palm trees. It's not a very special painting in my opinion. However he has gone far enough to have an entire room dedicated to this painting and many variations, perhaps looking for some hidden meaning. But why that specific painting? Well, Jacobs username on the chatting application is "ratherBtravelin" - a bit odd considering he has boarded up his windows and (I'm assuming) he stays inside as much as possible. He's not a complete agoraphobe, judging by his grocery list. I believe this painting has struck a chord with Jacob simply because it's a way he can vicariously be somewhere he wants. Somewhere exotic and sunny. Perhaps with friends and family. I imagine he sees himself as happy there. Unfortunately due to his depression (which is the cause of his isolation in the first place) he develops a consuming obsession over it, instead of actually taking a trip to the bahamas.

As far as depicting a man suffering with crippling depression, this game does a decent job. Eating the shrimp was a bit sickening, and a great representation of the effects that depression can have on loved ones. Cleaning the microwave was an interesting take on how often times suicidal people continue with their routine till the end. The cause of his depression is unclear, although it's implied his father has died recently. The cause isn't important, anyway.

What's important is the man he has locked in a vault. My theory is this man is the kidnapped painter Jason Malone who was in the paper. I think Jacob kidnapped this man and is forcing him to paint more copies of the palm tree painting. If you've played the game you'll know that you can kill the painter or let him go. I've been speculating about a third option that might be hidden in the game and my research has finally been coming together. At first I tried the obvious, like letting him out and then electrocuting, or selecting different options while chatting on the computer, or not turning the alarm off. I let the man out and walked around the house for a few hours but nothing seemed to happen. There's definitely something else going on in this game and I'm going to figure it out.

I took note of all the authors of the books and the suicides at the end of the game and noticed an interesting connection. z.f lincoln, one of the people who apparently killed themself, is also the author of one of the books on the bookshelf leading to the vault. Titled "Six slugs for Mario", I eventually found out this was the title of a short film the developer was working on when he went to FSU! This explains the palm trees and is proof that I'm on the right track. I've been sending twitter messages to Jesse (the developer of this game) about my theories but he stopped responding and I'm pretty sure he's blocked me. More evidence I'm getting close to the truth. I think Tim Allen must be involved somehow due to the newspaper article.

If anyone has any information, connections, or theories about this please let me know.
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59 Comments
Elodin Aug 7, 2023 @ 6:45pm 
You need at least 3000 hours in this game before I take this review seriously.
egg asser Jun 30, 2021 @ 1:52pm 
Can you play the game more pls
Trotsky Mar 2, 2021 @ 7:29pm 
I seriously hope you are okay.
chris_dude Aug 11, 2018 @ 4:19pm 
part 2


SPOILERS BELOW:

anyway, there are a couple of things that i agree with you:
-yes, one of the dead people in the ''cloud souls''/dead people's screen, z.f. lincoln, has been the exact person that wrote the book ''six slugs for mario'', which was visible in one of the room's bookshelves.
-also, yes, there is a good choice/bad choice there, but sadly the ending is always the same: the protagonist dies.

however, i need to ask this, man:
why have you played this game for 52+ hours?!
is this game becoming your own ''palm-tree painting'', or are you taking the ''im refering to the game-character's insanity'' joke a bit too far?

i hope that its the latter, because the former would be far too horrifying for me.
still, you've left an excellent review, and i liked it.
chris_dude Aug 11, 2018 @ 4:18pm 
this was a really clever, funny and creative in-depth review about this game, and about the mentality of the main hero(?), and of the developer's mind as well.

its strange that he blocked you on twitter, unless you're joking, and perhaps you're actually trying to write that last paragraph as if you are that obessed person, Jacob Ernholtz, and therefore you're making a point by imitating the exact character that you've been playing in the game, while simultaeously making a cool joke+a good reference to this game, but only in the last paragraph of your review, so that we can get the ''hint''.

part1
boppa Jun 25, 2018 @ 7:14pm 
5 2 H O U R S
jef May 12, 2017 @ 10:48pm 
Deep
gloomy Oct 21, 2016 @ 4:26am 
Where was this cage man ? o.O
Domejandro Aug 29, 2016 @ 12:52am 
Unless I am missing something Medic, I am fairly certain the writing of this review was a brilliant way of providing visualization of the main character's mindset. If my assumption is correct, he did an absolutely brilliant job of doing so.
AT&T™ Customer Service Aug 21, 2016 @ 6:57pm 
maybe the game is straight forward and you are overthinking it like every other theorist and The developer got super tired of you