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Turns out, you can still use your legs to steal clothes from the prisoners in cells next to you, which will make your "Looks like a Slave" go down over time.
Three in-game weeks, but eventually the Paladins just, let her go. Picked up a plank to sell off the ground outside, and it was a skip and a hop to the Hivers for a bucket arm.
Few years later, and now she's got Specialist KLR arms and is Strength 106.
Never give up!
Then buy the stuff back from the Shinobi fence and sell it back to the original owner for more money, because dipping it into the guild fence makes it un-stolen and you get a better price at standard merchants.
Unless you go inside a building, at which point they will equip any weapon in their secondary slot instead.
cheers!