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Gotta Go Fast

Welcome, blurs of speed, to Fasterture Science. Drag-racers, marathon-runners, adrenaline junkies, you're here because we need things done fast and you do it. So, who's ready to accelerate for science?

Now you've already met one another on the brisk run over here, so let me introduce myself. I'm Cave Johnson, and by the time you hear this I will be long gone. Like the wind.

What? My agile assistant Greg tells me that my use of 'long gone' may be misunderstood as dead. Well for all you slowpoke test subjects out there, I am not dead. Right now I am probably travelling across the globe at supersonic speeds. Concordes are great. Nothing feels faster than breaking the sound barrier. Can't believe the French thought up something this good.

Anyway, there are a thousand tests performed every second here on our enrichment tracks. I can't personally wait around for every one of them, so I'm putting my faith in you. Do your thing and do it fast. Fast fast.

Speedster Johnson, we're done here.