Drunken Robot Pornography

Drunken Robot Pornography

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Four-dimensional Chess
Type: Map
General Tags: Extra Punishing, Finished!
File Size
0.662 MB
May 26, 2017 @ 3:05am
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Four-dimensional Chess

As usual, Dejobaan Mechatronic Industries was programming robots to play chess and spew debris.
As usual, the results are catastrophic: As soon as the set of black pieces were ready, they started attacking anything and anyone white.

Unfortunately, you had left your jetpack behind for cleaning in the mall that all this went on in, and someone used it as an escape pod.

Even though Tim isn't responsible for this in any way, and at your current disadvantage a fall would be a lethal plummet into the traffic below, people are expecting their saviour to destroy all 16 rogue chess pieces.

So what will you be up against?

The weakest of the bunch.
A good burst of fire to the chest or even a single shadow bolt will kill these, but with their shielding, this is difficult to pull off!
They can only attack forwards, but their backs are usually protected.

A fast-moving tower of lasers, which only attacks in the four cardinal directions, but the sudden movements they make can allow them to unexpectedly end up orthagonal to you.

Melee specialists.
Almost as little firepower as a pawn, but they guard themselves with a nigh-impenetrable shield, and they like to get in close and whack you with their flail. A solid hit, and you'll go flying off!

Slightly slower than rooks, and far more fragile.
However, far more dangerous too! While a rook leisurely blasts lasers in four directions, a bishop will try to slice everything around it into ribbons.

Take the speed and toughness of a rook, and combine it with the lethality of a bishop.
Then increase all that a little bit, and you've got the queen!

A knight taken to extreme levels.
Tough to do any real damage to since he holds two shields instead of one, and with his laser crown and bombardment lance, his firepower dwarfs that of a knight.

Fortunately, you'll have some powerups to help you along the way!
Shadow Bolts are abundant, every 5000 points creates 400 ammo of a powerup, every 20000 points gives you a chance to heal yourself, and there's a steady supply of Dash Blasts if you can reach it.