How to "get lucky" with the women of New Vegas

Ths guide will teach you how to get lucky, if you catch my drift ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

this is dark humor and will probably trigger someone
Do not take this guide seriously
If someone actually does anything stated in this guide, I'll lose all hope in humanity...

Introductions

Salutations, my friends!

Are you a lonely little kid who wants to see pixels get it on? Or, are you a depressed, basement-dwelling, anime-obsessed guy in your thirties that is obsessed with porn because you know you'll never even be able to hold a conversation with a real girl? If so, then this guide is for you!

This guide will teach you, in steps, how to get lucky with women in New Vegas.

Step 1

Obviously, women aren't going to get in bed with you with a face that not even a mother could love. So, we're going to need to make the perfect character, whose face says, "I know how to treat a women." And who else would know how to treat a woman best than another woman? You'll going to need to create the most gorgeous character you can, so get on the Nexus and download some nude mods and hair and face retextures!

Step 2

Now that you have the character down, we're going to have to talk about your sexuality and gender. Like I stated previously, the most understanding of a woman is always going to be another woman, so therefore you should make your character a lesbian. You're also going to want to get a surgery in real life to transition into a woman. You need to look the part to look the part, amiright?

Step 3

Next, you just need to download a sex animation mod from the Nexus. There are plenty to choose from, so go ahead, little Timmy, find a good one that's for you. Just don't let your parent's catch you!

The Finale!

Boom! You just ♥♥♥♥♥♥ a virtual woman! I bet you feel proud of yourself, right?

Get the hell out of my sight, you disgusting, misogynistic pig! You just objectified a woman! You just raped a woman! Help! He's a rapist!

Happy Customer Reviews

"Thanks to this guide, I was able to ♥♥♥♥ my companion, Veronica. Ever since I saw her at the 188, I knew that it was destiny. I thought at the time that this day would never come, since she is a lesbian. I thought that I had no chance, but thanks to this guide that I found lying in an abandoned store in Freeside, I had the chance I desired! I even found a doc who helped me transition into a woman! We're going to be BFF's!" Someone says something that triggers him/her. "Shut up, Boone! You're just jealous because you don't have a woman in your life!" The other person, Boone, starts to cry. "Oh ♥♥♥♥... I'm so sorry, Boone! I forgot... ♥♥♥♥ me... ♥♥♥♥..."
-The Courier

"Thanks to this guide, I was able to make out with my crush!"
-Anonymous

"Is this what them Pre-War folkes were readin' back in the day? Jesus, I'm glad the bombs fell."
-Anonymous

"This is why the Brotherhood exists..."
-Father Elijah

"THIS GUIDE IS MISOGYNY! I'M GOING TO POST THE AUTHOR'S NAME ON THE TUMBLR BOARD!"
-Some random Follower of the Apocalypse

"Two words: Ring-a-ding-ding baby!"
-Anonymous

"Man, the boss is gonna freak out when we replace his book with this!"
-Anonymous

"hot..."
-Anonymous

"This guide got me raped..."
-Veronica

"Me too..."
-Random Wastelander

"<bark> <bark>! <whimper>!" (translation: Me too. It still hurts...)
-Rex

"Oh Dios mío..."
-Raul the Ghoul

[Casa De La Zarigueya]

♥♥♥

[ThatSaintConrad]

I've already lost hope in humanity.

[whipped in the balls]

lol those reviews.

[speed of crab]

see thats the fbi agent, the guide skips over the fact that you need to disband the FBI

[Sage18000]

I finished step 2, but I got a weird error message saying that all hope in humanity was lost.

[Charlio-Chan]

Excuse me, in step 2 you requested that we transition to female in order to look the part, which means YOU just assumed my gender.

[speed of crab]

instructions unclear, got shot in the head

[Tom ♛]

fake and gay, i didn't need to get a sex change to have hot lesbian sex in fnv

[[ﻮΗc] Comrade Broski]

comedy gold

[Gibaster]

hahaha