Sid Meier's Civilization V

Sid Meier's Civilization V

117 ratings
How to fail at civ
By Nautilus
How to lose
 
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Founding your capital
  • Make sure you found your capital on all snow or no where near useful things. Better yet, found it on a tiny island or next to a barbarian encampment.
  • If you are really desparate, don't found your capital at all!
  • After you do one of the ones I listed, kill your wariors or make them go far away from your capital/settelers.
  • Make sure your settelers are captured by barbarians and the warriors are killed.
Other empires
  • Make friends with the first empire you meet, then denounce them and declare war. That will make everyone go to war with you, killing your empire.
  • They refuse to make friends as soon as you meet them? Declare war.
  • Put no units in your cities.
  • Declare war on everyone.
City-states
  • KILL THEM WITH FIRE!!!!!1!!!!11!!!
  • Demand tribute. If they decline, do what the first bullet in this section of the guide (the fire thing).
  • make sure all your units end their turns in city-state borders.
  • declare war on all of them if all else fails.
Production focus
  • Unemploy everyone
  • Produce the most useless things that you can; Monuments or wonders that will take 100 turns
Gold
  • Spend it on usless units.
  • Collect it but don't use it.
Most importently





Make sure you DON'T remove kebab.





It will make you loose the game and they will remove you.
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43 Comments
First Strike Is Deadly Nov 15, 2017 @ 1:45pm 
9000/8192 would do again.
Shiro~ Dec 27, 2016 @ 9:54am 
Kebab removal instructions unclear, accidentially went to war with two civs because they asked me to declare war on each other
diableriekindred Jun 18, 2016 @ 1:21pm 
I used to keep winning all the time until I read this guide. Thanks Nippon now I can enjoy the game in peace.
Element X Jun 17, 2016 @ 4:08pm 
lol
Babadook Borough Jun 17, 2016 @ 1:14pm 
Guide was unclear 1/10, i ended up winning using this guide
CumbriaBlazeIt69 Jun 15, 2016 @ 1:52am 
Kebab removal instructions unclear; played as Armenia and got BTFO by the Ottomans
C.C. Tinsley Jun 14, 2016 @ 11:29am 
1. Start a game
2. press ESC
3. Press retire
4. Repeat
chipsnsalsalover Jun 12, 2016 @ 1:20pm 
LOL MartijnTim how does one accidently win?
MartijnTim Jun 12, 2016 @ 9:40am 
Kebab instructions unclear, accidentally completed the manhattan project and triggered a victory.
No_Step_On_Snek Jun 12, 2016 @ 8:34am 
Kebab Instuctions unclear got dick stuck in a kebab