How to not catcall SCP-939

Imagine this:

You log on to SCP: Secret Laboratory, join the first server you see, and spawn in as a Guard. You find heavy containment, open the door, and find SCP-939, crouched down facing the other way, ready to pounce at any unsuspecting humans who open the door ahead of you. From your perspective, all you can see is 939's large, round, red buttocks, and you hunger. Any normal SCP:SL player would simply walk up and be like, "DAM GURL U FINE AF," causing 939 to turn around and tear off your limbs.

However, you are different. You know that catcalling is a form of sexual harassment, which is a crime. You've come to this guide in order to prevent yourself from becoming a degenerate catcaller, or are a recovering one. Let me give you some simple tips on not becoming a lowlife.

HOW TO NOT CATCALL THE NEW SCP-939

1. Look away
Remember, do not be swayed by lust. Looking at SCP-939's but may give you some temporary positive emotions and dopamine, but then you will look back at yourself and see how sad and lonely you are. Looking at 939's behind will only make you more sad over time as you realize that you have no one who loves you and are unable to love yourself.

2. Bestiality is a crime
We all know the law. Bestiality is a crime. Do not act upon your own primal urges and end up as a D-Class (unless you already are one, you will end up dying anyways). If you are a scientist, guard, or member of the Nine-Tailed-Fox, you will be prosecuted if you commit bestiality, and if you are a D-Class or Chaos Insurgent, you will be executed by the S.C.P. Foundation.

3. You have a wife and kids at home
Remember, all of the people in this facility are male, besides SCP-939. Every character model is of a guy, and we can assume that many of them have family at home, whether it be a wife, husband, or children. What would they say... what would they say...

4. Hey guys
Did you know that in terms of male human and female SCP breeding, SCP-939 is the least compatible SCP for humans? Not only are they an SCP, which is mostly comprised of supernatural horrors beyond our comprehension, SCP-939 are way taller and heavier than humans. This means that they’re unable to feel human d-

5. Look closer
Even if SCP-939 decided to answer your catcall and ended up romantically interested in you, how would you do it? What do I mean by it, you ask? We wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't know. Look closer, SCP-939 DOES NOT HAVE ONE. How are you going to do it with SCP-939? You can't, bozo.

Thank you for reading this guide. Whether you are a new or old player, please remember not to catcall SCP-939 or you will lose limbs. Be sure to keep your mouth shut from now on.

Gonna be honest...

dunno what this does.

[Stoney :3]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Insane_Nut]

ether way hmmmmm pass

[Sh0tgunWeddin21]

939 is living proof that men will get attracted to anything with curves.

[Mordecai]

Soup - demoman tf2

[Lobster Man]

yall are too horny get turned into soup

[Larry]

CHAOS INSURGENCY PROPAGANDA

[Xeno-Scout]

sounds like propaganda from the foundation, NICE TRY BITCH!

[menlover22]

i've moved on, i am a better human being, thank you.

[War Criminal]

number 4 was v helpful

[quinmn]

Thank you for your comments everyone. I will now take everyones excuses and deconstruct them in a second post on while you should not catcall SCP-939.

Coming 2025.