Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

Counter-Strike: Global Offensive

986 ratings
ho 2 pley gem cs:go ?
By nep'#5337
guid 2 sey ho 2 pley lik KeniS
mein menu
Teh mein menu

F*cc, it is CS:Sauce's main menu, sorri me new to guid creashun

so, if u want ple gem u clicc "ple gem" buton, you will see 6 opshunz

go onlin ► ple wiv interweb conecshun on casual or competitiv (u wil ple wiv random cuntz)

ple wiv cuntz ► ple wiv cuntz on premad teem to f*ck evry1 on the gem

ple 2v2 veri gud ► u can ple 2v2 wiv random cuntz or wiv close♥♥♥♥♥♥♥u lik, bewar of unbalanced gem

ple surf wiv gama doplr ► if u ar u2ber and hav gud kniv u can chose this 2 mek clickbet video on web

i ha no cuntz 2 ple wiv ► if u no hav interweb conecshun or u hav no cuntz the game wil giv u free cuntz 2 ple wiv

tootoral ► idk what it is, sorri :/
in comp u can chose map, bcuz good gem mod :>

to ple comp u need to chose gud meps

if u ar hardcorde u can choz bad meps but it's dangerous

don't chose the worst mep becuz gaben wil be angri to u and he wil vac ban u :>

when u chos'd mep u clic the "go ple♥♥♥♥♥:>" buton
oke, ur in gem, now u go on web brother and typ hack-csgo-veri-gud-to-ple-lik-keniS-xddxd.nub now u chos tem, u hav "IZIZ" or "NO-IZIZ"

NOTEE: You can't CHOZ TEEM if u ple on wing men or comp

in gem
Diz iz wat da gem should lok lik

it is sem for IZIZ

on the hud, u hav your MEP, wher am i ?, moniz, tim, scor, IZIZ, NO-IZIZ, weponz, helth and chestplat, amo, stattracc pay2win piece of sh*t cu*t f*g dumb skins xddd.

MEP ► Show the mep of th mep ur pleying.
wher am i ? ► shows the spot you ar in teh mep
moniz ► u hav moniz 2 buy wepon
weponz ► it's th weponz u hav
Amo ► it's the amo u hav
helth ► it's ur helth, if u hav 0 u ded
dimond chestplat ► it's ur dimond chestplat status, it protecc against arrows and dimond swordz
tim ► show the time left bfor NO-IZIZ wins (4 alla hackber meps aka: defus meps) or IZIZ (4 bulli peeples meps aka: hostaj)
scor ► show scor of teemz if you hav 16 points on comp u winned the match
IZIZ and NO-IZIZ ► show aliv teem memberz
basic keyz
dis is basic keys to ple gem

press [FORWARD] to go forward
press [BACKWARD] to go backward
press [STRAFE LEFT] to go left
press [STRAFE RIGHT] to go right
press [FIRE] to shoot
press [ALT FIRE] to equip/ dequip silencerando on M4AS-1 or SPS-U or to zom wiv OWP or scot u can also enable brust fir on glocc-69 an FEMOUS
press [DUCK] to crouch
press [WALK] to walk
press [JUMP] to jump
press [SLOT 1] to equip primary
press [SLOT 2] to equip secondary
press [SLOT 3] to equip kniv
press [SLOT 4] to equip nade boom kaboom
press [SLOT 5] to av bomb (only IZIZ)
press [USE] to use
press [BUY MENU] to open buy menu
press [RELOAD] to reload
press [PAUSE] to pause
press [VOTE YES] to vote yes
press [VOTE NO] to vote no
press [GRAFFITI] to put graffiti
press [SAY] to talk
press [SAY TEAM] to talk to teem
press [VOICE RECORD] to talk wiv voice
press [DROP WEAPON] to drop weapon
This is a "work" in progress

If you want me to add things on this guide, feel free to comment it below,i will probably add them since i nothing better to do with my life.

If you like this cancerous guide feel free to Rate it up and add it to your favorites

You can join my cancerous Steam group on Steam (DUH) here : clic here if you want to grow your p*nis

You can also give me items bcuz i'm poor here : imgoing2hakyouverigud (i will put your name and the trade below if it's an important gift ;)

Have a nice day :3


#1 Thanks to Marshmallow for this trade[]

#2 Thanks to NJDAGAMER for this trade[]

#3 Thanks to 阴道驱逐舰 for this trade[]

#4 Thanks to ⓣⓡⓘⓟⓟⓨ for this trade[]

#5 Thanks again to Marshmallow for this trade[]

#6 Thanks to hilarious name for this trade[]

#7 Thanks to TheSpoopy1 for this trade[]

#8 Thanks to sandr0 for this trade[]

#9 Thanks to Adisor for this trade[]

#10 Thanks to Teddini for this trade[]

#11 Thanks to NeoN_Lima for this trade[]

#12 Thanks to DoYouHateMe for this trade[]

btw, it's my first guide, don't be a c*nt plz <3
btw#2 thanks to my screenshot software for the screenshot edition :>
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nep'#5337  [author] Sep 15 @ 9:22am 
me ned not 2 b lazy fuck and b free wiv skol and me wil do tootrorila guid to go on ponarmo ui pley csgo
ho 2 pley gem with panorama
nep'#5337  [author] Sep 4 @ 12:06am 
No problem :3
Mashiina Sep 3 @ 3:27pm 
thanks for teaching me how to playcsgo
nep'#5337  [author] Aug 25 @ 4:00pm 
True, i will someday, when i'm not lazy i'll make a 2nd one on the panorama UI *teasing*
WastL [GER] Aug 25 @ 11:48am 
You forgot the part about pulling out and inspecting your knife whenever you can because that's what the Pros do it has to be useful!
nep'#5337  [author] Aug 25 @ 6:45am 
G00dd- Aug 25 @ 5:54am 
;-; no
Skullcracka78 Aug 22 @ 4:23pm 
But if you fekt than we r rght?
nep'#5337  [author] Aug 10 @ 7:10am 
i med teh guid so it me fukt