I was made for this purpose. My only duty is to eliminate the oppressors of the U.S.S. MAIDEN. My uniquely designed eldritch powers are a trademark ability of mine and I have solved many Rubix Cubes with them. With my ultimate potato cannon, Chicka-boom the Cranky, I shall wipe the world clean of these vile creatures and their pet chickens. They will celebrate my victory and shout praises to my name in the streets of Icathia the 3rd. But first, I must fight, I must battle with the fervor of a million lions and six ducks! They will not stand against me, for I will make them fall to my porkchop on a stick! I am unyielding and merciless, I am fury and pride, I am pie and trucks!

Death to the Watchers, desolation to the mangoes!

Turcia fortium dominabitur!

(Also I have a Steam account)
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