King Wallace
Wallace Keys   Belfast, Belfast, United Kingdom (Great Britain)
 
 
Bob came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Bob.' Bob was stunned.
I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Bob was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home.

The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past.

'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Bob the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never,' said Bob.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Bob did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Bob was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell, 'BOB, wake up! You've ♥♥♥♥ the bed!
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Claude Apr 11, 2021 @ 3:12pm 
r.i.p my guy
silverism Feb 24, 2021 @ 2:09pm 
Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. This message from Hamood Hanakin Forf-Ashlin Khorsasan for you Joe Biden. You go check up in the doctor. You have 2 years. Your life is 2 years. 2 year from now, from today, to 2 year or 1 year and 6 months. 2 years, your life. After this one you pass away. You go check up in the doctor. This message from Hamood Hanakin Forf-Ashlin Khorasan. You do good job for the USA, for the 50 states in 2 year. You do poor, too long for us. We wanna create us a new country. No more Iran, no more Iraq, no more Turkey, no more Saudi for Forf-Ashlin Khorasan. We give you 2 year.
Charles Dickinson Jan 30, 2021 @ 5:04pm 
Hey are u alive bro?
Gillespie Jun 10, 2019 @ 5:24pm 
hey x
jeffyS Feb 3, 2019 @ 10:47am 
<3
jeffyS Feb 3, 2019 @ 10:45am 
RIP my dear friend