31 people found this review helpful
6 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 0.6 hrs on record
Posted: Jun 10 @ 1:00am
Updated: Jun 10 @ 12:08pm

Early Access Review
(Adult) Content
(FxM) Sexual content.
No. Woot! Woot!
Hours of Gameplay
Thirty minutes.
Modding Support?
Patch Available?
No, not necessary.

CLOCKWORK ♥♥♥♥♥ is a lewd third-person beat-’em-up about a “hooker” on the search for a hidden treasure.

Note: this article is a FRACTION of the full review. To read the whole article (including commentary and ratings), be sure pay my site a visit.

Dear Divines, I ask for your forgiveness — what have I done to deserve such punishment? I’m but a mortal, my mind and soul shall never be reborn. I’ve but one lifetime, and this CLOCKWORK ♥♥♥♥♥ is now a part of it. I used to think Orgipix Prod and Ojoy Studios were a pair of serious studios with lackluster coders. After playing CLOCKWORK ♥♥♥♥♥, I am confident they are not interested in coding quality games. I think they produce terrible games in bulk, capitalizing on bad publicity. I know this is an “Early Access Game” — but it’s still dysfunctional software being sold for seven dollars. I’d rather fold my money into origami boats and float them down a stream (I’d probably get more playtime out of them too!) Maybe Orgipix Prod and Ojoy Studios make good on their games through quality updates. I wouldn’t know, because HardPunch: Subverse isn’t a game I’m too eager to revisit. I think CLOCKWORK ♥♥♥♥♥ is the worst game I’ve played this year. I know I’m being harsh, but I don’t think this game should have been publicly released (or sold) on Steam. It’s a buggy, visually abhorrent mess that soaks up a concerning amount of processing power — you deserve better.

Note: apparently, Steam "censored" my URL because it included the name of the game, which includes a censored word. To read the full review, you'll just have to look it up via my search bar (or catch it while it's still on home page!)

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