57 people found this review helpful
7 people found this review funny
4
3
1
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 1.1 hrs on record
Posted: Jul 16, 2020 @ 3:11pm
Updated: Jul 16, 2020 @ 4:30pm

Early Access Review
At a Glance
(Adult) Content
(FxM) Sexual content.
Censorship?
No. Woot! Woot!
Hours of Gameplay
One or two hours.
Modding Support?
No.
Patch Available?
No, not necessary.

Sex Poker is a lewd game of Poker with a customizable (and bangable!) lady dealer.

Gameplay
If you don't know how to play Poker, don't buy this game -- there is not so much as a written tutorial on how to play. While the game does help you keep winning sets of cards, without some knowledge of Poker you'll likely end up spamming "Bet" and "Add Credits" to win. Provided you win, you can purchase sex scenes with the dealer (who can be customized).

To read the full length "Gameplay", check this review out on Wombat Trap (dot-com).

Story
There is no story. Some guy hits the casino where the dealers double as escorts, and the bets don't exceed fifteen dollars. Not only that, the escorts take fifteen dollars for their services.

Remember kids, if it's too good to be true, it probably is.

Visuals
The titlemenu features a long, fancy pan-around of a casino; considering you don't actually get to explore the casino, it's totally unnecessary. From "Settings", you may adjust audio, graphical and resolution preferences. The user-interface looks good, but it should be toggeable.

Now, something needs to be said about the animation.

The ladies suffer the same problems as the escorts of Escort Simulator: they will bend in grossly unnatural positions, causing their appendages to warp out of control. The animation errors are so spectacularly bad that I'm unsure if this game is meant to be taken serious at all. While the sexual animations are less prone to visual errors, they are monotonous and repetitive. Oh — and the JPEG view from the window was so bad it's good.

- The Goods-
You may create your choice woman, and subject her to a round of nude dancing or a string of sexual animations. She is joined by some off-putting, middle aged man that I wouldn't want in my bedroom. The dances are dreadful, but the sexual content isn't bad. However, it lacks interactivity, and there is little control over the actors or scene. The camera controls suck, and I don't think the user-interface can be hidden, which is a bummer. Expect female nudity and male-on-female sexual content.

Verdict
I don't recommend this game given the price tag and visuals. While this is a functional game of lewd Poker, it's not great at being lewd or a Poker game. In addition, not having some sort of tutorial is in my opinion, unacceptable. While Sex Poker brings a few cool ideas to the table, this is one title I would not bet on. Or at least. . . wait for some updates.


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Developer response:
SoalBurner97  [developer] Posted: Jul 17, 2020 @ 6:21pm
Thanks for the comments and review Wombat! We're just pushed a v1.01 update that includes both instructions for the poker game play as well as a casino pay table to give players more information about the payout ratios for winning hands.

We also removed the old trenchcoat creeper from the VIP lap dance area. Thanks for suggesting it, lol!