172 people found this review helpful
42 people found this review funny
6
2
1
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 0.3 hrs on record
Posted: Jun 20, 2020 @ 12:10am

Early Access Review
At a Glance
(Adult) Content
(FxM) Sexual content.
Censorship
No. Woot! Woot!
Hours of Gameplay
One hour.
Modding Support?
No.
Patch Available?
No, not necessary.

Escort Simulator is a lewd poser game that revolves around a single escort (or prostitute) and some guy.

Gameplay
There are three game modes to choose from; in "Customize Escort", you may slightly modify the female actor; in "Strip Tease', you may watch your escort do a dance; in "[Bang] Escort", you may watch your escort enter a number of sexual positions with a male partner. The character customization is lacking, and the male character looks awful.

Story
There is no story, moving on.

Visuals
There is no titlescreen. It's right to the action! Unfortunately, it's not the kind of action you want. The interface is bland, and so are the visuals as a whole. There are no adjustable user preferences, and there is no form of gallery. The camera options in-game are dreadfully limited.

- The Goods -
The animations and characters were really something. It was like watching a few zombies bang it out, and there was a few times when it looked like the woman's [lady bits] were falling out of her hips. It was kind of traumatic. I'd really like to not see (or hear) her speak again. Given the background noise to her voice, I think she's a robot. Expect male-on-female sexual intercourse.

Verdict
I wouldn't touch this title with a ten foot pole. I don't know if this game is serious, or overpriced memeware. In any case, it's all around awful quality, and I strongly recommend against it. This game needed quite a bit of development before release.

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6 Comments
shbouwhuis Dec 4, 2020 @ 11:33am 
1. I had to laugh when reading the '- The Goods -' paragraph
2. You say in the comments that if you refund a game 'you forfeit the ability to post a review'. Does that mean your review would disappear?!? Is that really how Steam works?
Big-J Smash! Nov 13, 2020 @ 1:30am 
Great review. Thanks for jumping on the grenade for us. Like you, I'm in favor of seeing more adult titles. I found AI Shoju to be entertaining. Obviously, that title is Japanese. Without finding patches, it is censored.

I had high hopes for this game. American devs are too crass with their sexuality, it seems. This game is still early access, so hopefully the devs will swing this one around.
DatWombat Jul 22, 2020 @ 9:58am 
When you refund a game, you forfeit the ability to post a review. Additionally, I support adult-developers, and games are updated all the time. I prefer to maintain copies of games so that I may revisit them on a later date. If I returned every game I didn't like, I think would Steam would revoke my refund privileges, LOL.
vigor Jul 12, 2020 @ 4:51pm 
You spent more time writing this than the game opened :immoralsoldier:
HoboKeyMaster Jul 12, 2020 @ 6:16am 
"Hours of Gameplay One hour."

0.3 hrs on record

Better to refund it
ɱɛɛ Jul 5, 2020 @ 3:00am 
How about you refund it.And you know its EA you dumb creature xD