33 people found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 1.2 hrs on record
Posted: Aug 28, 2020 @ 8:50pm
Updated: Aug 28, 2020 @ 11:29pm

At a Glance
(Adult) Content
(FxM) Sexual content.
No. Woot! Woot!
Hours of Gameplay
One or two hours.
Modding Support?
Patch Available?
No, not necessary.

Hentai Simulator is a lewd beat-'em-up/management game.

Battle baddies, bang hotties, and manage your basic needs — story of my life ('cmon guys let me have this one!) You have three basic needs; hunger, which is replenished by food and drink; happiness, which is gained by beer, donuts, and working out; and sleep which is gained by you know, sleeping (or coffee!) Food and working out costs money, which can acquired by working (or committing crimes!) You can visit peoples' homes and bang 'em to your heart's content (or at least 'til you run out of Stamina). For some strange reason, every man has it out for you, so you'd best be ready to throw fists at the drop of a hat. Life in Hentai Simulator is a careful balance of staying alive and working. Huh. . . kind of real life.

Is Hentai Simulator actually my life?

There's this guy, and he's a little new to the adult life. How-to adult is a bit harder than he thought. He wants to bang every woman in town, but every man wants to bang him. . . up. You know, like they want they fist him to death?

Oh wait —

The titlescreen is a wreck, and the user-interface feels slow and unpolished. From "Option", you may adjust audio, display, and language preferences. You can bring-up a menu in-game to adjust audio and graphical preferences as well. The English leaves something to be desired. I could spot tons of miscapitalization, the most of egregious of which uncapitalized names. The game takes place in a home that is fully rendered, every room loaded with assets. I found this game to be painfully laggy, and I suspect it has to do with poor resource management.

- The Goods-
There are a selection of sex-animations to unlock, most of which accessible from each in-game day. Some are restricted to random events, which often require you to possess one or more specific items. They are mildly interactive, allowing you to choose where to shoot your load and muck-about with the camera. The character models are buzzkill. I was not fond of the male protagonist's lumpy wiener or his missing eyes. The sex-scenes are somewhat serviceable, but they are too awkward and short lived.

I don't recommend this game. It's unrefined, and not terribly fun. I think the only people that are going to enjoy Hentai Simulator are people looking for a nostalgia snack.

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