Recent reviews by Mike Stoklasa

It's like the sci-fi shooter version of the binding of isaac

Oh and it's also multiplayer

I went out to find some magical stones one day, only to get ambushed by some cult people.
Luckily they got gangbanged by this jacked mutated man that stood on his hands and i was able to collect my magic rocks.
After a while of doing this i decided to get the best weapons and armor in the game, and go and rush the Chernobyl National Power Plant (apparently there was something really powerful that those cult ♥♥♥♥♥ were worshipping in there.)

after 5 trillion hours of trying to get through the strongest cult bois ever and listening to some old slav dude talk in my ear, i found this giant glowing rock that told me to make a wish.
wanna be immortal lol.

Load to great swamp and spawn in an open grave.
what in tarnation.
suddenly ambushed by bandits.
smoke the lot of them without losing a point of hp.
holy ♥♥♥♥ it came true.
holy ♥♥♥♥ I'm zombified now and now everyone hates me.
HOLY ♥♥♥♥ ZOMBIES ARENT AFFECTED BY RADIATION.
take everyone of my magic rocks and equip the best ones.
spot a distant army base that once caused me lots of trouble thanks to a persistent apache.
Time to ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ up.
After i turn the base into the zone's equivalent of a one man Columbine, I turn around and walked into the sunset.
Turns out it wasn't actually the sunset, but an emission that fried me to a crisp.
Worth it.

10/10 redemption story of a lone cheeki ukrainian that died after achieving his life goal. Beautiful.
(BTW this wasn't on the base game. this was a mod for the game called Call of Chernobyl.)

If you asked me what i thought of this game before I probably would've said the following.
"The singleplayer is alright. The multiplayer despite some issues is pretty good!"

Let me adjust that.

The single player is okay. not much of a change of opinion there. It's an average gta singleplayer with about as much replayability as one of those japanese switch machines that keeps switching itself off everytime you turn it on. Mods enhance the experience like they do with any other game.

The multiplayer? where to ♥♥♥♥ing begin. Load times are as unbearable as ever.

But where the true monster that is this piece of garbage is the stagnation of the gameplay.
Let's start where the ridiculousness began to pick up.

Gunrunner's arsenal introduced several new things to the game. It introduced a whole bundle of new vehicles, missions, and the bunker which could make you money through selling arms stock. I won't go too in depth on this, but what you need to know is that this is where things begin to pick up. A bike was introduced in this DLC that you could buy for 3.6 million undiscounted (2.7 discounted). This vehicle was the oppressor, a bike capable of taking to the air with a boost from the ground that could glide around after the boost. The most notable thing about this, was the missile upgrade. This allows you to shoot homing missiles from the bike while in the air.

While OP, there were some balances made to make sure this wasn't entirely OP. It could only stay in the air for so long, you only have 20 rockets (negated if you were an MC president), and the missile's tracking wasn't extremely accurate. Despite this, people began to notice that the game was starting to up the ante in terms of the ridiculousness of the vehicles.

Two updates later, and rockstar had done it again. A new sportscar was added to the game called the Deluxo. It's basically a flying delorean. Didn't think the oppressor was strong enough? Well evidently, rockstar decided that was the case. This new vehicle knocks off two of what balanced the oppressor right off the bat. First off, it can maintain altitude instead of having to glide like the oppressor. this means that if you just position yourself correctly, you can just hold onto mouse 2 and never let go. However more importantly, This Deluxo had perfect accuracy. missiles can turn on a dime if they need to.

Despite all of this, You could maybe, somehow, probably make the argument that "because it's a bigger target and moves slower, it needs to compensate with better accuracy!"
Okay, fine then. Your stockholm syndrome has taken full effect but you know what? I'll happily entertain rockstar one final time for the final DLC of the game. Surely, they've learned there lesson haven't they?

...

♥♥♥♥ING HAVEN'T THEY?!

And so the final DLC came around. And on this unholy release, came rockstar's final ♥♥♥♥ you to the fanbase that stuck around from the early days of vanilla, to the games final days. One final knife in the back that will ♥♥♥♥ the game up (because we're going to read dead who gives a ♥♥♥♥.)

Enter, the oppressor mk 2. So remember how i talked about how there was still a reason for the Deluxo to exist yeah? well Rockstar in their infinite ♥♥♥♥ing wisdom decided to create a vehicle With some of the worst counters.

Let me explain. The oppressor mk 2, is a bike sized deluxo without machineguns. it is the size and speed of an oppressor, mixed with the missiles of the deluxo that can also use chaff/flares to stop incoming missiles. What this means, is that the original counter to the deluxo, don't matter for ♥♥♥♥ when you're trying to hit a target that is constantly bobbing up and down that is the size of a flea on your screen. The missiles also have perfect accuracy, so all they have to do is lock on to you for just a moment and fire at you.

Good luck countering them on the ground. Want to try and gun 'em down with a minigun? Again, good luck trying to hit a target that is the size of a flea. Homing missiles? Dodged, or counter measures stopped them in their tracks.


And if you weren't killed by the looney on the flying bike, he'll probably just use a hack to crash your game (because when you have an anticheat constructed from quality street wrappers, it's surprisingly easy to find cheaters who just set everyone on fire.

Sure you could invest real time and buy your own oppressor mk 2, but then you become part of the problem. And there you start to see why this all is. The only good and consistent counters to these bloody things is to grind and grind for hours and hours until you have one vehicle that you can use to barely counter it.

Or you could just buy your way there! Spend titloads of cash on shark cards, and get there instantly!

Rockstar wants you to spend ♥♥♥♥ loads of cash just to enjoy the multiplayer.

Do i recommend this game? Absolutely ♥♥♥♥ing not.

Do you own this game? Do yourself a favour, uninstall that ♥♥♥♥ and get a better game. If you have below 500 hours, you might just be able to get over it.

If you really want the game that badly, pirate it so Take Two interactive (Rockstar's publisher) can lose out on your custom.

♥♥♥♥ this game. Thanks for taking away 1,400 hours of my life.

TL;DR: Singleplayer is okay. Multiplayer sucks huge ♥♥♥♥ because of very little balancing and being ecouraged to buy microtransactions all the bloody time. Don't buy. Pirate if you absolutely have to.

I first picked up payday 2 during the last summer sale. upon picking it up, i instantly fell in love. Characters are great, soundtrack of the gods, varied missions, solid weapons, Pre-planning that adds a lot of depth to the game and overall an amazing experience. My one complaint is the piles and PILES of paid DLC. If you see it during the summer sale i recommend giving it a shot (just be sure to get GOTY because you can feel like you're missing out at times)