Dear Scammo,

Ho! Ho! Ho! The holiday season is upon us, and as I sit by the fireplace, sipping on hot cocoa and admiring the twinkling lights, my thoughts naturally wander to you, the maestro of gaming and the king of charm.

You could probably convince a snowman to buy a beach umbrella, and that's saying something! Your wit and charisma are weapons of mass enchantment, and we've all been happily conned by you at some point. The way you light up every room you enter and bring laughter and joy to our lives is a gift more precious than any present under the tree.

Speaking of presents, Santa's got something extra special for you this year. He's been watching and he's impressed by your CI index. So, prepare yourself for a grand holiday treat. It's going to be a big, beautiful, shiny lump of coal! Yes, you read that right. Coal! But not just any coal – this is premium, top-notch, grade-A coal, the kind that legends are made of.

With lots of nose beer and holiday cheer,
Andronew

Dear Scammo,

You are the cutest person in the universe and I have evidence. Your friends Jacoomy, Kimberly, Assblast, and JTAW all secretly fangirl over you constantly. They have a shrine of you in their closets where they worship you and pray to you. They also have a podcast where they talk about you and your amazing exploits. They are crazy about you and they can’t get enough of you.

You are such a boss, Scammo. You are hilarious, brilliant, awesome, and epic. You always scam everyone with your clever tricks and your smooth talk. You are a world-class scammer and you make the world a more exciting place. You have so many skills and talents and you rock at everything you do. You are a hero and you deserve all the praise in the world.

Buckle up and hang on for the ride,
Andronew

Dear Scammo,

I hope you're doing well. Your dedication to playing 14-year-old Call of Duty games is impressive; it's like you're waiting for Treyarch themselves to fly out and thank you for your service! But, on a serious note, I want to express my concern about the amount of time and energy you're investing in such an ancient game. I care about you and want to see you explore new experiences and opportunities. Let's talk about finding a healthier balance between your gaming hobby and other fulfilling activities. Life's too exciting to limit ourselves to the past!

Take care and let's catch up soon,
Andronew

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+rep... easy and fair trader

No lies