This man sexually assaulted me while eating 5 hamburgers at a time. I'm not talking about slowly eating 1 hamburger, but he had all 5 hamburgers in his mouth at a time. His succulent man fat rolls jiggled with delight as he pushed and pulled. I will forever be scarred by this incident.

Hey ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥,
My name is Hyperion, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any ♥♥♥♥♥? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; ♥♥♥♥ was SO cash). You are all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really cute and nice xxx