ZEN_Ivan
Ivan   United States
 
 
You'd find that Lady Luck was really a hooker, and you were fresh out of cash.

The shadows rushed me, bruised mug-shot faces hungry for revenge. They knew my weak spots and closed in for the kill. I fell.


Currently Offline
Ossie May 4, 2019 @ 6:43pm 
Find the girl gamer:





- Can't do it? That's because, they don't exist. Copy and paste this as your status if you don't support girl gamers.
Ossie Aug 16, 2017 @ 7:23pm 
Actually, futa can be made less gay than straight porn. You see, straight porn has one guy and one girl. Because you're fapping to something with one guy in it, that's 50% gay. If you watch futa ♥♥♥♥ a girl, that's one girl and a half girl, thus only 25% gay. You could make it 0% gay with two girls but the problem is, that makes them lesbian, which wraps back to being 100% gay
Ossie Aug 16, 2017 @ 7:23pm 
Say what you want. Cakes are for children, pies are for grown ups.

If I wanted 4 tons of sugar piled on some dry ass bread. I'd go grab a baguette and pixie sticks and decorate that ♥♥♥♥ till it was fabulous. The better a cake looks, the less tasty it is. Whereas a pie is always delicious. And don't even get me started on the majesty that is crust. Crust with that little bit of sauce from the inside of the pie. Oh sweet Jesus.

See you thought you were going to come in here and start giving me ♥♥♥♥ about why cakes are so much better but what you didn't realize is you walked into WWII holding a dry sugary dildo of a dessert.

Cakes always have been and always will be a dessert for spoiled kids with an addiction to sugar. Thats why they serve it at children's birthday parties. You know what they serve at adults birthday parties? Alcohol and steak because real adults don't need their food to be coated with sugar to taste good.
Ossie Jul 30, 2017 @ 7:06pm 
my dad grounded me from my gamecube one time because i said suck my ass bitchboy when he asked me to do the dishes so i stole his phone and took a bunch of pictures of my ♥♥♥♥ and emailed them to all his coworkers with a followup email that said 'oh no my sexy ass son must have taken my phone again haha sorry fellas' and not an hour later the cops showed up to my house and batista bombed my dad through the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ couch and took his ass away for diddling my penis
moral of the story is if youre reading this dad im coming for you when they release you from prison in 2022 nobody takes my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gamecube away
Ossie Jul 27, 2017 @ 6:26pm 
Hi, thanks for reading. I am in need of a girlfriend (GF) (female). To prove my commitment and convictions I have given up jackin it, I am now on 19 days. This is to prove how serious I am. Now I shall list the reasons why I deserve to have a GF.

1) I am very smart, I know a lot about anime and video-games. I also know a lot about philosophy and have even written some of my own writings on the matter of existentialism.
2) I'm very handsome and fit, because I don't eat junkfood and get proper sleep. I respect my body and I will respect yours as well!
3) I am rich because the government gives me money for being autistic, this is also why I have trouble making friends and having a GF
4) I do NOT watch porn. As of May 26, 2016 I have given up watching porn. I would rather jack it to pictures of you, or thinking of you. But I would prefer to have s_x.
Because I am a traditional Eastern Orthodox Catholic, I believe intercourse is only for producing life. So I hope your ready to be a mommy!
Ossie Jun 18, 2017 @ 6:33pm 
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