This guy tried to eat my toenails.
We went to school together back in 2009 and have not been in touch regularly. We have been following each other on Instagram for years, though. Recently, I saw he was getting married on Instagram, so I reached out to him to congratulate him. We got to catching up and decided we should meet up for lunch sometime. I wish I could say that 'sometime' never came. Alas, reality is much harsher than fantasy. After an unnecessarily heated argument about where we should eat, we decided on Burger King. Well, I should say "He" decided on Burger King. I suggested many other places, but he seemed insulted that I would even dare to think about eating anywhere else. When I arrived in the King's domain, I immediately saw him waiting for me at a table he had secured. He seemed like a bit of an oddball, but overall a friendly soul. After we had a moderately satisfying meal, we said our goodbyes and parted ways.

The rest of my afternoon was rather uneventful, but this would change come nighttime. I kept hearing odd noises; thumping, rustling, screeching and whatnot. I thought nothing of it, thinking it must just be some deer outside. As the evening progressed, the sounds kept getting stranger. They eventually became sounds one could only describe as growling or gurgling. While I was a little unnerved, I ultimately decided it was probably nothing and went to bed. (I hate to say this is an important detail, but before my slumber I clipped my toenails.)

I awoke several times during the night, feeling as though something wasn't right. I kept hearing strange noises, but they sounded like they were coming from inside my house. Foolishly, I assumed it was still nothing and returned to my slumber. Finally, around 3:30 AM, I awoke to the sound of what could only be described as a gremlin feasting on a thousand younglings. I jumped out of bed and turned on my bedside lamp. What I saw next will haunt me for the rest of my days. It was the man; nay, the beast, I had met at the Burger King earlier that day, slouching over the foot of my bed. He had carefully picked every single toenail clipping out of my trash can and was playing with them. The clippings, as well as my sheets, were soaked with his drool. Paralyzed with fear, I just watched as he put in motion the most heinous plan mankind has ever concocted. He began carefully placing each toenail clipping between his teeth!

I was mortified to see how much pleasure it was bringing him. I snapped out of my paralysis and let out a yelp in fear, but it only seemed to fuel the beast. He began laughing maniacally and running around my room in ways I never thought possible. His feet made it above his head with every step. I yelled once more, but this time he didn't take so kindly to it. He snarled at me, hissed, and lept out of my window. (My room is on the 2nd floor of my house) I ran to the window to see where he had gone, but he left no trace. This incident happened 4 years ago and I still have nightmares about it nearly every night. I don't know who to talk to anymore.

This dude twisted my ♥♥♥♥ off.

Thought this dude was pretty chill for a while, knew him in high school through friends of friends and we just recently started talking through steam after he saw me starting a new Skyrim play through. He seemed cool, and we both still lived around the area so we decided to meetup at a local spot for some lunch. When we got there things seemed to be going well. I had noticed that his nose was much larger than an average persons nose, in fact I’d go as far to say that his nose looked fake it was so comically large. He also kept picking his nose and flicking the boogers onto other patrons within the Chipotle we had met at. After about 7 of the largest boogers I’d ever seen had been thrown onto these poor strangers backs, I asked him why he was doing this. His response was simply “They’re freaks bro, they deserve this and more.”

Deeming this to be a sufficient explanation, I excused myself to the restroom. I had to retrieve the code from the cashier, and as I turned to the door I noticed it to be just closing. Strange, but I figured I had lucked out by getting in there right as someone was leaving. As I entered the bathroom the lights refused to work, leaving me only my phones flashlight to assist me as I began my stream. Whilst I relived myself, I felt a quick wet impact on the back of my neck. As I touched the affected area and pulled my hand into the light of my phone I was frozen with horror. A booger.