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Help us translate Steam

Romania
ASKIN GOD FOR FAVORS
GUESS HE ISNT HOME
If you are straight, you like girls, who like guys, which means it's 25% gay
If you are gay, well that's 100% gay
Bisexuality is 50% gay, because you like both
Pansexuality however, is an attraction to all the genders, 56 are politically recognized, and only one is male, so Pansexuality only makes you 1.78% gay
This concludes my research, good day!
Rooting from the lands of Nigeria, Niggers are large muscular people who are made to live in extreme conditions.
They have very dark skin to protect them from the sun, as they are afraid of it. They have large lips to klack and klick their language, this may be the reason for slang.
There dark kinky hair is to keep from being hung in bushes while on the hunt. Be careful not to assume all darkies are Niggers so be careful before judging. Be careful for these ill tempered creatures are highly aggrssive, dumb, and under the protection of liberals. Thank you!
Niggers do not steal corn because they are afraid of scarecrows.
Language,
Yo dawgs I bese chii-in wit dom homies an da mofugin polee show uh. I cuh ih believe da shih yo!
Translation,
Hello friends while dealing/doing drug with some fine young gentlemen the police showed, I was suprised!