Canii
Señor Oreo   New Jersey, United States
 
 
Currently Offline
Last Online 13 days ago
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Canii was an expert in the ways of ovens. For she frequently used them to bake herself massive amounts of cookies. Which is why, when asked to put a special chicken cake in the oven, she was unimpressed and sure of herself.
She went upstairs, but to their surprise, it was nothing in the ordinary. Approximately 12 feet tall, this oven resembled a homosexual ostrich coming back from a honeymoon in Puerto Rico with his partner, Jebediah, whom was very much into the local field hockey scene and got involved in it whenever he could (which the gay ostrich was unimpressed with, but they made out nonetheless). It was hot pink, and was speaking Urdu in a horrifying low octave that made the hairs on the back of Canii’s cookie-imbued neck shiver.
Canii knew right then and there what had to happen: A dance off.
This was not Canii’s first dance-off with an oven, and she was prepared. Armed with two chocolate chip cookies, she did a handstand on her nose while eating an entire box of oreos (while simultaneously doing the nay-nay). Famous rapper, Jay-Z, who was present at the time, would later comment on her moves by saying, and I quote: “Yeah… I had no idea what the hell was going on.”
The oven staring her down, she knew she would have to move quickly. With the speed of a slightly inebriated turtle with four broken legs, she leapt up on top of the kitchen island before reaching her hand toward her sheath. The oven, knowing what was about to happen, was frozen in fear. Jesus, who was also present (he and Jay-z were having a tea party) would later say that the oven was not frozen, rather, it was just an oven, but our experts say otherwise.
Smirking with indignance, the princess began to draw her weapon. Before long, the 3 foot katana, which was made entirely out of oreo cookies, showed its glorious light to all the world. She then dipped it back into her sheath, since it was filled with milk and was right for dipping, waited 10 seconds and then drew it back out again. It was then that Canii ate it. She consumed the cookies and cream-flavored weapon with pure righteousness and aptitude, for she had done so multiple times before.
After completing this, the princess stared down the oven, and beckoned it to retaliate… If it would dare.
The oven, being an oven, had no response. The day was won.

The end.
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driveway Mar 21 @ 7:42pm 
Can I talk to you about something important.
PandaFire Feb 8 @ 9:10am 
We should talk more ):
Gleiche Jan 10 @ 3:05pm 
"I can hear his pants"- Canii 2018
Gleiche Jan 10 @ 11:14am 
Dont Question My Authority, Safety Is My Priority.
🍉 Jan 5 @ 9:44pm 
"Why you takin such good care of that pickle but can't water your dog more than once a week?"
23_AM Dec 30, 2017 @ 2:53am 
god tier player