The Wild Slayer
Michael Sam Ho
No information given.
Currently Online
"Minecraft good Fortnite bad"
"M-m... M"

No one was paying attention in the crossroads of New York as I was giving my speech.


However, one person was intrigued in what I was saying.


Then it was just a domino effect, ten more people are watching.


A hundred were now watching, this had caught the attention of even the busy drivers in rush hour. Their faces in anticipation, some were even scared. Others were complaining that this isn't the real deal.


But they all suddenly started cheering, shaking, praying. When they heard my tone, my pitch, my timbre.... they all knew what was going to come next. They realized... that salvation of the human race has finally come.

"Minecraft good Fortnite bad"

And then the silence broke


Thousands of people fell to their knees, yelling orgasmically. People starting crying tears of joy, others were running and thanking God, News reporters were already on the scene, broadcasting the entire thing nationwide and consequently the entire world. Hundreds of people came out of their cars, buses, taxis, stores, and subway stations hooting and hollering. It was a miracle unfolding.

I started to say the next sentence relayed to me by our Lord and Savior.

"M-m-mi... Mine..."

Already some people fainted at just the mere sound of my voice. Even more people came. Some were jumping from planes thousands of feet in the air, others ran or swam miles to here in mere seconds. I think I even spotted a few famous people.


Nearly a million people were here now. There's now Europeans, Canadians, Mexicans, Latin Americans, West Coasters, Africans, and even several Asians and one Australian. They were screaming hysterically, bringing gifts for me, taking pictures and videos. Fireworks and confetti everywhere, helicopters, and even Donald Trump was here with his family bowing down to me.

"MINEC-C-C-CRAFT voice crack"

A billion people were here now. Even animals from all over the world were coming in herds. I could see Pewdiepie & Martiza, Elon Musk, Keanu Reeves, Lil Nas X, 50 Cent, Oprah Winfrey, the Kardashians, and so many other people. Many people were having seizures, heart attacks, and strokes from the sheer excitement, and some were being trampled to death because of the huge crowd. The screaming was deafening. Some just came straight out of their bathroom, school, work, or their parenting... but it doesn't matter now.


No matter what was your race, gender, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, economic class, etc... it didn't matter. All of humanity has come together for this one moment. Millions of people have died to due plane crashes, car crashes, doctors abandoning their patients, parents abandoning their children... just to be here, but it will all be worth it.

Nearly half of humanity is here now. Even the dead came out their graves for this. Everyone is climbing on top of each other and on the walls of skyscrapers since they couldn't fit. So many lights, music, dancing, feasts... yet barely a minute passed. Humanity is very interesting.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

I look at the smiling faces of the crowd in front of me. I look at the death and destruction that came from sacrifice to attend this event. This is it. We're ready.


"Minecraft good Fortnite bad Instagram normie Emojis bad Keanu breathtaking Wholesome 100 [Everyone liked that] Area 51 PETA bad 69 nice 420"


Billions of people around the world disintegrated into their pure chemical compounds that composed their bodies, then their atoms, then their protons/neutrons/electrons, and finally their quarks... as they heard that holy sentence. The distant echoes of yelling can heard from thousands of miles. This... this was their ultimate purpose in life. This is the culmination of everything that has happened in human history, it is reason why life even existed in the first place. They weren't screaming in terror, they were shouting in orgasmic joy. They could finally die happy. Their entire lives flashed before their eyes as they saw their loved ones. They saw their ultimate fantasy. They can finally be freed from their imperfect bodies in this imperfect world.

The Sun blinked out. The Moon crashed into the Earth. The Earth turned into dust. The Solar System collapsed into a state of entropy. The Milky Way hosts a firework show of supernovas. All the galaxies of the universe colliding with one another. Reality is falling apart. That's because reality doesn't need to exist anymore. It has reached its goal. Spacetime has fallen. Matter ceases to exist. Not even the concept of nothing exists. The universe was never born.

Humanity is gone. Everything is gone. We are now one. Evil doesn't exist anymore. Insecurities don't exist anymore. Fear, sadness, anger don't exist anymore. Just hope, love, and harmony for eternity. This is what we were meant to be. This is our final evolution stage.

This is heaven. This is what it means to be happy.


Listen, I have no idea why you would even be in here, or why you took the time to read this, but I will commend you for your efforts nonetheless, I am a person of no interest, just some dude looking to play games and shit.
And if you're still reading to this point I don't know what to tell you, all you got out of it was a facial muscle exercise since you're going through so many emotions reading all this cancer.

Well anyhow, you were interested enough to check me out, however I got nothing else for you, maybe shoot me a friend request? But shit, I don't even know you (probably). I don't even know how you got here. Why are you here? Argh you're getting me confused as well, I have all that text above since I didn't have anything else to do and decided to just take the most cringeworthy paste I could find and just slam it on my profile, I don't even care that much about it.

...Are you still reading? I really hope you're not, if I somehow kept you engaged to this because it's just another line to read, stop. I have nothing else but questions to you that you can't even answer because this is a one way street dude.
If there's anything I want you to take away from this, it's that MiNeCrAfT gOoD fOrTnItE bAd 🍆💦
I don't even play Minecraft. Or Fortnite.

That shit is for babies. Babies. Or 30+ year old sweaty streamer dudes that take that shit way too seriously. All I see when eyeing out Fortnite streams are some raging assholes that scream at their screen in a game that's designed to attract kids whose balls haven't even seen the bottom of their scrotum yet. Like what is their deal?
Eh, I guess Minecraft is alright. As a game. I still see people that are trying way to hard at battle royale modes. In Minecraft. As adults.

If you're seriously still here, thank you. I don't know what to tell you.
Have a star.⭐
Of course, that star ain't going anywhere, it's not like you can take it with you. If you want to access to that star, you'd have to come to this profile every time, and that shit isn't happening, just remember every time that you feel down, you have a star from me. To you. After getting cancer from that paste. I caused nothing but problems for you. Bye.
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hehejeni May 17, 2015 @ 10:52am 
very good!! #1