340 people found this review helpful
333 people found this review funny
Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 2.2 hrs on record
Posted: Jun 17, 2015 @ 10:17pm

This is the most terrifying game ever.

I have charged screaming and laughing madly into battle in a hundred other games; I've sent innumerable soldiers into a billion different deaths in dozens of RTS; I've fulfilled more legends and destroyed more world-threatening evils in more RPGs than I care to remember...

...yet nothing could prepare me for the greatest horror of them all: being a little handmaiden interrogated by Cersei, in this game... ;-; Go back to your dungeons! Return to raiding and pillaging empires! There is naught but terror and court intrigue for you here!

When words become the sword a warrior must wield; he knows his hardest battle has come.

10/10 would rather be mutilated by a thousand dragons than face the Lannister Queen again.
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18 Comments
Zaltys Dec 10, 2015 @ 9:54am 
Pffft. You can say anything, and it'll still play out the same.
Even if you tell Cersei that Starks weren't traitors, she'll just overlook that.
ApriKot Dec 5, 2015 @ 12:19am 
Fuck Cersei, Ramsay Bolton scared the fuck out of me man. You can't read him. And no matter what you do, he's going to fucking do something frightening. My poor heart can't take it.
KiLL ScreeN Dec 3, 2015 @ 2:04pm 
I read this review before playing the game and got all exited. I played the game and realised my decisions meant jack shit. Fuck Cersei in the cunt.
Darterius Nov 30, 2015 @ 4:28pm 
This is the funniest review I've ever read. My wife thinks I'm off my rocker over here but I cannot stop laughing. I'm buying this game...and if you do more reviews please share a link to them! You should seriously have a blog at the very least. I'd subscribe to it.
Bisinski Nov 19, 2015 @ 8:29am 
Best review ever. I shat my pants when interrogated by her, NOTHING PLEASES THAT WOMAN.
Boris The Savage Nov 18, 2015 @ 4:14am 
These comments make me want to geld myself, root and stem, then sell my junk to a sorcerer.
Ed_B011 Oct 25, 2015 @ 4:31pm 
> cersie

wot de fog m8

You just went full Ned Stark... Never go full Ned Stark.
Holo Oct 25, 2015 @ 11:35am 
Actually, the Lannister Queen's name is Cersie... Fucking Casul
Cloud Oct 20, 2015 @ 4:40am 
OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!! OHOHOHOHOOOHHHHH YEAHHHHH :steamsad:
peteski Oct 10, 2015 @ 6:01pm 
Funny argument with you guys using questions marks? Read it all out loud as questions? It really makes it less hostile? Goodbye? Maybe not?