6 people found this review helpful
6 people found this review funny
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 6.9 hrs on record (1.2 hrs at review time)
Posted: Jul 16, 2015 @ 7:51am

good morning jesus good morning sinners! let's see what bundle game the stork brought down from heaven for me today.

amygdala, eh? oh look at that, the top review was admittedly paid for with a free key. we are off to a great start. has anyone in the history of steam been given a free key then written a bad review? anyway, let's get into this one.

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=482586734

the best part of this game is that team button. it is a simple list for saint peter to use so he knows exactly which evil sinner devs are responsible for this. no need to consult god on this one, friend peter, because none of these sinners are getting into the pearly gates.

this is your basic platformer. you are a blob with a useless third eye. maybe you can see the future or something, i don't know. almost right away i run into things like this:

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=482586452

some enemies hurt you when you touch them, but then i can just stand on top of crabby here and nothing happens at all. even better, i can just push crabs off the platform straight down to the abyss of hell. this is how i want to play. green blob, say hello to satan for me! knight with sword head, your evil sinner creators will be down to see you soon enough! the only fun i had in this game is seeing which creatures i could push over the edge.

one more thing to point out to the sinners, dear jesus. why is it that sometimes i can get hit 15 times without dying, while other times i am killed by a single hit? there is no life bar or hearts or anything useful like that, so the game is going to kill you when it feels like killing you. that is frustrating, but not in the 'good' way. i don't think that is asking too much to know how many hits i can take before i die.

i made the game pretty fun for myself for a while, but i did not play as the devs intended, so this one gets a thumbs down in the end.

god bless amen



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3 Comments
DaVince Jul 16, 2015 @ 9:57am 
"has anyone in the history of steam been given a free key then written a bad review?"

Oh, it happens all the time. Copies are given away for review , not for praise .

Anyway, useful review. Dunno what the jesus/sinners shtick was all about though.
kyleblane Jul 16, 2015 @ 8:04am 
And you're spot on with describing what it's like taking damage. You never know when, why or how you're going to take damage, or how much.
kyleblane Jul 16, 2015 @ 8:04am 
To answer your first question, yes. I was given a key and gave it a negative review. ;-)

http://steamcommunity.com/id/kyleblane/recommended/369060/