Bolden Burr Ash   United States
Frequently changes name and avatar.
Currently Online
Artwork Showcase
Squadala! We're off!
Welcome to the Worst Profile on Steam
I won't ask how you got here.

Lost, frightened, confused? Good!
Did you just make an enormous mistake in clicking this profile page? Tempted by the beautiful avatar image? Feel as though you have delved into something you cannot possibly fathom? You sure did. Want to leave? Too bad.

What do I do now that I am here?
The way I see it, you got yourself into this mess so you figure it out. You could just mope around and suffer, embrace it, or just act indifferent and hope it'll go away. Maybe it will, but it probably won't.

First off, I'm actually astonished that you would desire something from me. Want me to compose you a beautiful poem? At this point, you may find yourself asking the question "Hey, is this some famous Internet poet?" The answer: no. But I'll do it.

The Everlasting Bond of Steam Friendship
Once you have made the conscious decision to commit to adding me to your friends list and not out of error, you will remain on mine for all eternity. I don't remove anyone for being inactive for any period of time or for not chatting. Even if I don't remember who you were (it becomes quite the fun guessing game for me since I don't use nicknames) or never really knew you (maybe you were a mutual acquaintance), the only way out is for you to remove the parasite that is myself. However, be warned that by doing so I will find out who it was that decided to do such a heinous, heartless act. Note that I generally do not accept random requests to cut down on spam/annoyances. It's best you do that thing everyone suggests and leave a comment or play a game with me first. If you were from back in the days of Halo and Mama Luigi, feel free to add me. I don't play Halo anymore, though. I also go by "Repestrol" in non-Steam games.

Mama? Mama Luigi?! Ahahahahaha!!
Yes, I once ran a clan for Halo Custom Edition called "Mama Luigi". It was one of the first (successful) YouTube Poop themed clans around and a rip-snortin' good time. If you enjoyed the Mama Luigi servers or were a member, by all means get in touch with me. The remnants of Mama Luigi have mostly migrated over to the Hotel Mario Steam group.

Inventory Liquidation Service
Here's how it works: you give me all of that unwanted junk you have. In return, you gain a clean inventory and the satisfaction of helping me out by giving me free items I don't deserve so that I may be able to increase the length of my ePingas™. You're clearly making a killing here at my expense.

Questions I Never Get Asked
Q:Can I give you things?
A: Please do.

Q:Would you like to chat?
A: So long as it's not roleplay, sure.

Q:Will I ever get married?
A: Maybe someday.

Q:Did you just spank your lunch?
A: ...Yes.

Obligatory Disclaimer
This profile is essentially YouTube Poop incarnate. The vast majority of jokes and oddities will be of the YTP theme and extremely unfunny including but not limited to Hotel Mario, Mama Luigi, and (of course) Pingas.

Do you really mean any of this?
Ask again later.

Items Up For Trade
Items Owned
Trades Made
Market Transactions
I am now open to trading cards and will trade doubles that I don't need of the same set on a 1:1 basis. If it looks like I'm hoarding cards in an attempt to craft a badge five times, I probably won't trade these. Don't worry as I tend to get extra cards to trade for the ones I do need. If you want a card that isn't from the same set, it would be nice to give me something of equal value or even throw a couple things my way. I definitely will try to be as fair as I can. I don't care about emoticons and most of my backgrounds (save for maybe two or three of them). If you want one, trade me some cards and it will probably happen. Offer me a trade.
Favorite Game
Hours played
Screenshot Showcase
Left 4 Dead 2
1 1
Review Showcase
18.1 Hours played
Broforce is one of those games that meet your hopes and dreams and exceeds them. I was recommended the game and went in expecting a sort of basic run-and-gun with a heavy guerilla vibe but this game is just oozing with extreme masculinity and more action than Ric Flair gets outside the ring. The muscles are big, the grunts are manly, and the round count is higher than that of John Rambo's M60. An all-star cast of action film heroes appear in the form of "bros" with the incredible ability to demonstrate their muscular hypertrophy. With every flex, bead of sweat, and forceful high five exerted you really understand and experience for yourself the intense patriotism burning in the heart of the model American. I highly recommend foreigners utilize this as a service to themselves even if they haven't yet started the immigration process to this great country.

Believe it or not, this product also works for those who are athletically impaired. Those without a muscular physique can take solace in the fact that the moves and poses taught will dramatically enhance their soon-to-be burly physical appearance and increase their macho ego by at least thirty percent. In fact, just by being a witness to the events presented, you will undergo a sudden testosterone boost that is powerful enough to instantly grow not just hair on your chest but an entire moustache too. Indeed, it is estimated that approximately seventy-six percent of participants end up improving their bravado and imperturbability by forty-three and twenty-two points, respectively. And while fifteen percent require an additional catalyst to promote this profound charismatic growth, the remaining nine percent end up succeeding in all of their endeavours no matter how vapid, trite, or jejune the participant may have previously been. This phenomenon has been dubbed "the Matt Damon Effect" and is labeled as such after the actor of the same name who, despite being recorded by expert poise and sophistication scholars as "rather banal, an unstimulating and mediocre being", has gathered a large following of fans and admirers. Troubling; however, is that while Mr. Damon has underwent such a transformation in popularity, copies of films starring him are often found in retail store "bargain bins" and his more recent works have received progressively lower ratings. This suggests that effects of the Broforce procedure may only extend to chance encounters with the subject (or his image) and that the populace will not actively seek him out of genuine interest.

A popular theory proposed is that a constant dosage of Broforce is required to maintain the newfound appeal unless a level of pre-existing allure or fascination had been established prior to first exposure. Whereas a subject such as Matt Damon may require multiple doses every few years, others such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis may only have required an initial few doses to activate and little or none in order to maintain it. Though Mr. Schwarzenegger in particular has admitted to utilizing Broforce during his off seasons to maintain muscular structure and relevancy, it is believed his pre-existing charisma would have resulted in a more potent effect if he had taken it regularly. Supportive evidence of this highly selective effect also includes the case of actors with no apparent talent such as George Clooney. In Mr. Clooney's case, it is estimated that his situation would require a consistent high-repetition scheduled application in order just to break into relevancy again.

In spite of the overwhelmingly obvious impact Broforce has, it is but one stimulus that is currently known to exist. Researchers have looked into the cases of Kurt Russell and Chuck Norris, both of whom have no traces of Broforce in the system, to understand the "missing links" that produce this grand effect outside of the product. It is the hope of scientists that one day these mysterious elements can be harnessed to produce a natural alternative and avoid complete dependence of the time-consuming Broforce: the perfect translation of the 80s-90s action film genre to the video game format. Also, the gameplay is pretty good.

Recent Activity

1.7 hrs on record
last played on Oct 22
215 hrs on record
last played on Oct 21
45 hrs on record
last played on Oct 19
[xG:DM] Tsunderplane Oct 23, 2018 @ 11:45am 
Nightshade Apr 28, 2018 @ 6:34am 
Nightshade Apr 28, 2018 @ 6:34am 
Haha, not many folks from STM include personalized messages :retro_beer:
Halo PC all the way!
[xG:DM] Tsunderplane Jul 1, 2017 @ 7:48pm 
*Smacks* :angry_creep:
[xG:DM] Tsunderplane Apr 24, 2017 @ 7:12pm 
How can I help you King DeeDeeDee?
[xG:DM] Tsunderplane Apr 2, 2017 @ 10:33pm 
Oh dear, I regret to inform you that I have not commented on here for a while. Hmmmmmm what to comment?