Recent reviews by cranium brain

she lethal on my company til i quota

no mans skyrim

eat
small
insect

A story of a man who washed up on an island and probably forgot why he was there in the first place, and decides to play minecraft IRL. He then commits genocide against the populace using an axe, and creepily watches a woman until she falls in love with him. The best part about a 3 legged girl? 2 vaginas.

games ok

I remember Boneworks making me throw up. The Bonelabs team outdid themselves by forcing you to drive 3 laps on a go-kart track. I accidentally had to start the level over and I had never been more sick. The story progresses in a horrible manner and lacks boneworks charm, but its fine if you just want to shoot and pummel your way to the end. I just wish we had meaty humanoid enemies that use weapons. I expect modding to redeem this title, multiplayer is something people always ask for but its very hard to implement, but this would be the game for it. VRMOD for GMOD was a blast, and some of HL-ALYX's workshop levels with interactive toys and stories really showed off that VR can be more than just shooting and hitting things. We are just one step closer to DarkRP VR.

But I did not purchase this title for the story, I purchased it because SLZ is not afraid to go outside the comfort zone that other publishers stay in. Videogames are risky business and its safer to stick to tried and true mediums and try to please every player. I applaud them for making me throw up, because it pushes the boundaries and shows these things are possible. The melee feels so much better but I hated having to switch from being a fat ♥♥♥♥ to all these other avatars just for story progression. I like pain, and being weak and powerless. Im a masochist and want to feel desperate progressing, but this was a power trip even holding myself back.

No aint no fat ♥♥♥♥ in real life, it just matches my physical power. Grappling, punches and strikes are my favorite way to fight through levels and they do a good job on letting you do that, but they dont let you play as the soldier to progress for most of the game.

They done turned our boy Duke Nukem into a sissy
-wears whitie tighties instead of boxers
-has to use cover instead of strafing
-can only carry two weapons
-has to regenerate health in cover instead of sipping water out of a busted urinal/fire hydrant
-gets drunk off of 1 beer when I can easily drink over 8 in succession IRL and not be as wasted

I actually enjoyed the game when I played it on the XBOX when it came out, but I was a young console peasant with horrible taste in games (I enjoyed superman 64 for the N64). If you want a game with the REAL Duke, get Duke Nukem 3D instead.

I played misery mod for my first playthrough and it took me 3.5 years to beat

A journey into gun mechanics, the self, and depression. To master your gun under pressure is to master yourself, your gun being an extent of your mind and body. Fight The Threat on different planes of reality and awaken your true self.

Play this and the actual ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Godhead (Illuminati) will show up to visit you, if they want you.