Max was my slave name   New York, United States
Please post your reason for adding me, thank you. :eye::eye:
Trade? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ https://steamcommunity.com/tradeoffer/new/?partner=116167807&token=LTB7-YWT
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Favorite game, TF2? That's pretty cringe.
"*Crackling, humming, and computerized dog barking* Alright! My dogs ready!"

"*Mechanical lifting and dog whimpering* Well...look at that."

"Now that's a dog!"

"*Dog whimpering and jumping* Look at him so cute, yes he is. Yes he is."

"So. What you gonna name him?"

"Call him something cute like Mr. Something. Like Mr. Balls. Or how about uhh-ooh! Thunderpussy!"

"Shut up. I got a name. And its...Hannnd...Banana. *Cage opening and dog barking* Come here Hand Banana. Come here boy."

"All the good ones and that's the one you take?"

"Yeah, you the sweetest best boy in the whole world yes you are."

"Heyy I gotta admit he is kind of cute."

"*Suspenseful music plays* Tonight...you..."

"Hehehe what do you think he means? Tonight you. Like he's threatening me or something."

"Who the hell are you talking to tubbs?"

"The uh the freaking Hand Banana over there said uh tonight...you! *Dog barking excitedly* Heheheheh!"

"Come on Carl, he's a dog!"

"*Licking sounds* See?"

"*Suspenseful music plays* Yeah...I'm just a dog."

"*Dog barking and running* Look at him!"

"Keep it up Carl. They may just haul you off. Heheheheh."

"You hear him? He's pretty funny. Heheh."

"Come on Hand Banana let's play. Get out here and get away from that creepy man."

"*Suspenseful music plays* Remember...tonight..."


"*Door being opened quickly* What the hell? No no no no no. Bad boy, bad boy. You live over there. *Suspenseful music plays* You live over there. Go back to the freaks."

"Who you calling boy? ... My name is Hand Banana."

"Why-you-you talking to me here or?"

"No not anymore. *Door slams* We're done talking."

"Hang on. Let me bend over and pick this thing up and uh- *Dog growling* Hand Banana no!"


"*Door quickly opens and dog barks* There's a Hand Banana, good boy."

"*Dog barking* Oh he's not a boy anymore. He's a man. Because he just raped me!"

"You think you can back that up?"

"Listen to this guy! 'Could back that up!' I got bruises to prove it!"

"No, no. I mean that ass. Back it up, yeah."

"Do you hear what he's saying here?!"

"Sounds like someone wants to get r-a-p-e-d again."

"C'mon Carl, he hasn't even been here for one day. How can he possibly be learning the English language?"

"See? All I know is 'ball' and 'good' ... and rape."

"Yeah you know it well. I bend over for the remote and BOOM! Your there."

"Watch this. *whimpers*"

"I'm sorry Carl, but I think that you need to leave. You're upsetting Handbanana."


"Yeah well you know. He upset me pretty bad too. I don't know if I can sleep anymore - you ever been raped by a dog?"

"Uh uh."

"See I think that's what hell is like you know, constantly being raped by dogs."


"That's, you know. I don't know if I believe in God, but I think he must hate me!"


"Cause he allowed you to create a dog that constantly rapes me!"

"Okay Carl that's it. Just go home alright?"

"Yeah just go on home."

"You need to just go home and lie down for a while."

"Mmm. Face down."

"If I see that dog again, he's dead."

"Yeah, bye bye."

"He's DEAD!"

"Okay see you. *Door slams*"


"*Telephone ringing* Hello?"

"Hey Carl. It's Frylock. Look I sent Hand Banana to the pound okay? I figured, hell, if he's raping you, then he is a bad dog. *Suspenseful music plays*"

"Good. He's a freaking menace. And uh you know technically he is supposed to be spayed and he ain't that haha, I know that first hand! Go ahead! Ask me how I know! Try it! Ask me! Ask me how I know!"

"Uh Carl. H-hold on one second okay? *Licking sounds*"

"*Licking and slurping sounds over phone*"

"Mmm mmm. Ahh okay I'm back look you don't need to worry about Hand Banana annny more. So uhhhh, what are you wearing?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing! Ahem nothing. Just an idle question. Okay here comes Frylock. *Dial tone*"

"*Dog growling and dial tone* ...Hello?"


"Ohh man. That is a load off my mind knowing that rapist is gone...man I feel good out here. Might just uhh get nude heheheheheh. *Fabric shifting* Shine some sun aha where the sun don't shine you know what I mean? Heheheheh. Lonnng past the point of caring on this."

"You uhh. *Suspenseful music plays* Basting that turkey today?"

"Huh? What's that?"

"I think it's time to take your temperature. See if the meat is just right."

"*Dog viciously growling and slapping noises* NOOOO NOOO!"


"*Gun cocking* Where's Hand Banana?"

"I don't know Carl I'm busy right now. Just sort of set my drink right behind me here."

"I got a little present here for your dog next time he shows up and tries to make - unwanted sexual advances towards me. He's going to get stuck! Cause I filled every orifice of my body with wacky glue!"

"That's a stupid thing to do Carl."

"What? I said I filled every orifice of my body with wacky glue. Hey you have something to drink? I feel like my throats kind of dry. Ahem. I put a bunch of wacky glue in there. Now it's kind of glued closed up; someone call 911. *Raspy coughing*"

"*Dog barking and whimpering* No no! Look! He's about to rape me!"

"No Carl, see look. *Dog growling*"

"He's gonna rape me! *Raspy coughing and wheezing*"

"He's an expert on CPR! He saved your life!"

"You alright big guy?"

"Yeah...I think so."

"Good. *Suspenseful music plays* Cause tonight...you..."

"Go home, and get some rest Carl."

"Yeah, don't wait up. I'll be there soon enough."

"Oh I'll be waiting. Just bring it on big man!"


"*Electric crackling* See you don't know what rape is like. For years, I thought it was funny. *Computerized dog barking* Oh yeah, rape so funny. Until you've been raped. You about to find out what that's like, Hand Banana."

"Hey, let's think about this."

"Oh we're done thinking. Cause see; everytime I think: you're there. Horning my threes."

"Come on now. I-I can be good."

"No see, I don't think that you can. But I'll show you how to be good. Hand Banana. *Dog growling* I want you to meet...The Enforcer."

"I want my name to be Spaghetti."

"Alright. Spaghetti. Whatever I don't care just you know, do what I tell you."

"The hell are you looking at?"

"I'm your father I just made you."

"Huhahahah I got your father right here. Hahahahah I got your daddy. Hahahahaha."

"Alright enough talking with the dogs here. *Dramatic music plays* Spaghetti I want you to show Hand Banana the night of his life. *Dog growling, whimpering, and barking* There you go. There you go. Rape him like he raped me! Do it! Do it, what are you waiting on?"

"Aaa, I'm not really that attracted to him."

"The hell do you mean you're not attracted to him? Go ahead and rape him."

"Aaa I don't know. I'm...done with that. Something about you though...it just seem like we, we click or something. Feels comfortable you know. You know what I'm saying?"

"Well I uh yeah well I don't know about that I mean I, I did create you from some of them weird hairs that you know grow out of the bottom of my feet."

"Wow! I got those too. You're like the only other person that I heard of that got those. Hey we got a lot in common here! I'm gonna rape you."

"*Dog growling and sounds of debris* No please Spaghetti no no! No please Spaghetti! I'm your father, no get off my ass! Nooo! Okay no!"

"Well you don't see that everyday."

"No please Spaghetti no please!"

"This software is illegal in over 80 countries. You should never try to make your own dog."

"I'm your father! No! Get off my ass."

"Okay, lock the doors."

"Ahh Spaghetti no please! *Sounds of glass breaking, dogs growling, and punching* Spaghetti I'm your daddy. Ahhhh Spaghetti. No!

"Come on Shake! Noone wants to see that. Go into your room!"

"I don't HAVE a room!"
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245 hrs on record
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last played on Sep 20
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last played on Sep 20
Bigtoast Sep 18 @ 5:47pm 
VeLo what the f you talking about. You stupid idiot.
Bigtoast Sep 18 @ 5:46pm 
-rep I don't know man but it seems like this guy is trying to copy my username. Such a ♥♥♥♥ing ♥♥♥♥♥ in general. Also gay and has aids. SCAMMER ALERT. A ♥♥♥♥ing turd, and asks for an awp every single mother ♥♥♥♥ing round.
G A L L A N T Jul 29 @ 10:16pm 
-rep doesn't actually use a deag
Mokil Jul 15 @ 2:21pm 
My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, "If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately." Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- "Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your profile gave me cancer anyway. lul
📘📀 ٩(̾●̮̮̃̾•̃̾)۶ (‾⌣‾) ʕʘ̅͜ʘ̅ʔ ˁ(OᴥO)ˀ "(◔/‿\◔) HAVE A BALL* 🚙🏀 good! 🐊💄👑🕺 LOOK| 🐝🌋🥗🎽
✪♀☁♀✿ 🍆🎁
Mokil May 17 @ 1:52pm 
so sad kid... embarrassing kid... but its ok, i know im too good for u! that was obv u cant win against me... btw delete it before friends see it ;) if u want a carry just feel free to contact me kid.... :steamhappy: