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9 of 10 (90%) achievements earned:

Personal Achievements
 
Unlocked Mar 15, 2017 @ 3:15pm

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Unlocked Mar 15, 2017 @ 3:13pm

Click on door 430 five times.

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked Mar 15, 2017 @ 3:07pm

Achievement

This is an achievement.
Unlocked Mar 21, 2017 @ 8:06pm

Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
Unlocked Mar 15, 2017 @ 3:07pm

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked Mar 15, 2017 @ 3:53pm

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Unlocked Mar 15, 2017 @ 3:09pm

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked Mar 15, 2017 @ 3:21pm

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.
Unlocked Mar 16, 2017 @ 11:10am

Unachievable

It is impossible to get this achievement.



Go outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.