Tolya Gosuslugi's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked Apr 2 @ 5:23am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked Mar 25 @ 8:22am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked May 24 @ 9:49pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked Apr 3 @ 8:44am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked Mar 24 @ 11:23pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked Mar 25 @ 12:08am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked Mar 25 @ 1:01am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked Apr 2 @ 5:49am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked Apr 4 @ 8:10am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked Apr 12 @ 4:08am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked Aug 31 @ 7:06am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked Sep 8 @ 8:43am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked Sep 9 @ 9:17am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked Jun 3 @ 10:25am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked Aug 31 @ 7:11am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked Aug 31 @ 6:59am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked Apr 12 @ 3:57am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked Apr 12 @ 3:55am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked Apr 1 @ 8:38am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked Jun 3 @ 10:23am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked May 24 @ 9:49pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked Sep 11 @ 7:55am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked Apr 8 @ 9:33am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked Apr 11 @ 9:52am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked Sep 13 @ 5:09am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked Mar 24 @ 4:34am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked Mar 24 @ 11:24pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked Sep 8 @ 8:43am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked Apr 2 @ 5:40am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked Mar 25 @ 12:07am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked Mar 24 @ 11:37pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked Aug 31 @ 7:08am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked Sep 14 @ 9:03am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked Sep 15 @ 2:52am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked Sep 13 @ 5:36am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked Sep 13 @ 5:10am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked Sep 8 @ 8:43am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked Sep 11 @ 7:26am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

9 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

3 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

1 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

16 / 30

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

781 / 1,000

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30