I want to reality shift to be a woman, but Im not trans: I have to explain myself now.
lately Im associated God, purely with masculinity; hairiness with holiness, brutality, coarseness, and material misery with manliness, and thus with saintliness. but what if GOD, is beyond gender-duality?
think of it, as an O9A Insight Role. I will shift and assume the garb (body) of a top-model Hallstatt-Nordid\ Tall White type woman. of course I will use this garb, also, to infiltrate leftist university circles of the more extreme variety.

såerm

I just want this nightmare to end. I'm tired of having to go potty in containers sometimes that are kept in my room to reduce the number of times I have to unseal my door and leave my room, and having to spend 8 minutes sealing my door every time I go out and back in my room, and having to change clothes between showers while not clean due to smoke saturation when outside room (sometimes in room during worst times when both Angie and Vickie are using high concentration vapes, or dad now letting 2 friends smoke cancer sticks in basement instead of 1 when invited over), and having to clean out washer and dryer every time I have to wash clothes, towels, or bedding, while hoping I can do it before she wakes up and vapes again or central air kicks on (Vickie has insomnia so wakes up off and on), and not being able to shower when I want since it depends on concentration of smoke/vape, and having to cover and uncover things with plastic bags and trash bags when not in use,

Does anyone know anything? I have so many health issues and can rarely ever go to the doctor while they get worse because of the cost of spenddown, not to mention my anxiety makes going out difficult without someone I trust. I already have it payed for November with money order my dad got a week or two ago, but even though it was paid for next month the money order still has to be sent before it can be active and my dad can't due to his leg. And even then 1 month of help doesn't help every month beyond that. So she said they can't help unless the $89 spenddown is paid. I don't have anyone and always treated badly because of my disabilities. Tomorrow I'll start running out of food, then I'll have to starve. I was crying to my aunt on the phone telling her I don't want to die, and then she just hung up on me.

I don't know what to do. I'm going to die! I'm scared. ;_; My dad has a hurt leg and I have no one to get food, mail, and stuff. My aunt told me to call family support. I called them and they don't help people with disabilities. I called my aunt back and she said try the Care Connections number, but Care Connections said they only help senior citizens. They say they would call this independent living service number and that place would call me. They called me back and said someone could help through my healthnet, but I told them I can't afford the spenddown every month where I live now because rent here cost too much. I could at the last place I lived, but had to move due to smokers moving in upstairs that was causing me to have my meltdown/fits because it was getting in the apartment and I'm hypersensitive to it. If I lived with someone or at a place where rent was $100 cheaper I could afford spenddown every month. What do I do?

Hey kiddo! i hope things are well in your life, i read
that you cant get private messages so i posted this
instead. just checking in on you, I think you are a
beautiful amazing human being with a bright mind
and i wish you well always!!