Not new nor too old to life, yet a forgotten chronicle, golden days long gone and every living witness gone as well.
But doing some digging to witness your world, wouldn't be a bad experience.
Today is a new day, modern era, but humanity doesn't change, to cling on beliefs and goals out of the need of purpose and self righteous concepts of what it's orthodox, despite the chaos, destruction, corruption and misusing of freedom by those spoiled that don't know true suffering or never experienced a country with truly no laws or rights at all, even those in power either abuse, suck at thier position or are feeble flakes in decisions or neglect things, or anything really. No one is perfect, there's petty crimes everywhere, and distorted life non deserving humans are on the run.
All we can do is just go on with our days, work, study, execute actions, recess and relax when possible, then accept reality or live a lie or self corrupt yourself into crimes or be someone's prideless expendable sex slave either by volunteering, human trafficking or black mailing or some other sad reason, or death even. Just be careful, don't doom yourself, it's childish.

Life sure is abstract.

Just try to avoid all that bad shit. Just get strong, mentally and physically strong, at least few acquaintances, then find a better calmer places, environments, opportunities and fine productive positive future.

It sounds so simple to wish, and hard to get in this merciless world. That's why you fight one way or another, or surpass your former self's potential by improving yourself. Giving up is easy to do, but it takes a toll on your personality, and lessen your choices, so you better take good choices when you can, and work hard for them, even if you may get endless would-be luck, you might run out of options if you simply ditch everything.

Stand up, get your head out of your ass, stop that sobbing self pity shit, and get your shit together, think properly, if you don't know something, search. If you wanna learn, study and apply. If you wanna get strong, workout and challenge your mind as well. If you want to be total chad at fucking or find love, well don't be much of a creep, depends, those self proclaimed limitless whores take it almost all, but some of you still want a relationship that is worth it and not just fuck focused, not having/being a "pet" of some bond of mere adultery, to find that someone that actually worth giving a crap about and share your mind, either end up being a friend or accept that mutual reciprocation isn't happening and it's nothing but a acquaintance/friend relationship, so that's all you to figure it out, don't push, dumbass. You want have success in life ? Make efforts, don't take stupid decisions, and take responsibility of your actions, climbs the ranks or whatever system of placement and get to the top, even some bottom submissive femboy faggot or defiled harmed woman or weak traumatized man or someonewith a mental/physical condition, a nobody, someone who was betrayed and got tortured for years and everything taken away from, someone that was thought dead or missing or captured for good, can still climb to the top and feel that touch of satisfaction out that sensation of liberation, to rise from the ashes and be reborn like a Phoenix, to feel that touch of victory, either dry or pleasant, either vengeance or mere growth, or a recovery, or even just luck or pure effort. Whatever guides those hearts of gold to shine brighter than the rest, the sense purpose that defies reason and mindless motivation to just go forward.
Even if its a megalomaniac that just wants more and more power no matter what, a mind that can overthrow anything.
You could be either good or bad that way, too powerful, too dangerous, or everyone's inspiration to grow as well or everyone's envy or target.
Take your plans carefully. With the right moves, timing, words and connections, even a literal "nobody" can become greater than "everybody".

Why the fuck am I thinking too much of nothing and typing it as I think about it?

My best friends are whores/sluts/prostitutes, trans or traps, memesters, faggots, criminals and wierd people. My normal friends are by now non existent, and my acquaintances are just as wierd and fucking clingy and way more stupid than myself for literal years to bug me off with no resolution. All the good things that happened tome are forgettable, while I still remember every tragedy with precise detail like if I was still in the every very situation. Now all Ihave is broken promises, vague hope, existential crisis, drinking issues, a hardly changing daily routine bases of work as a service member that does NOT fit my personality, porn and sex (irl) addiction, collectionist of certain rare stuff, procrastination, poor health diet choices (I'm not fat all, can't get fat, wierd metabolism, heartburns from time to time, but I workout), lost desire of interacting with my biological family but still get thier calls, old irl friends move on so I do, many current ones are just ok, despite having proper living conditions I still lazy out and sort of have a mess of a room all over or not pick up my trash until too late (say a week) from times to time, depraved and have kink/fetishes desires that aren't normal (being limitless is cool but also reminds me how much I do not deserve much dignity out of it), my formalities are at a standard as in "fair enough" to not get called out, half assed/mediocre sometimes, somewhat of a creep but "motherly", not too informed nor being to feel relatable to a story that's being told to me yet will still get a philosophic perspective or constructive odds in literal cold terms, used to help people a little... too much.. like holy fuck I had no life and spent all my time and not too long ago even gave sone of my money to help them out but now I take care of myself only. I'm the kind of person that would honestly laugh, smile or snooze, even have the nerve to take a bite out of a pocket snack or take some sips of a bottle drink in the middle of gunfight or a on going warfare going on, while everyone is losing thier shit because something serious is happening, but to me, death treating situations are pretty common to me to the point I don't get surprised even if it's literally happening or it is not a joke, happened and done it, the only reason I'm mentioning it it's because many people I worked with point it out to many times through the years. Betrayal, experienced it a few times, came back at then for seversl overkills in terms of vengeance to scar them for many lifetimes. Sacrifice ? Done it, seen it, appreciate it and cried for it, only the brave dare to do things like these. Courage, fully respect it, but depends of the reason of what is it being applied to. Fear, something you gotta get your head out off your ass of, like a dark room, you gotta stop being afraid of falling from a height, panic from a non lethal wound, or things like that, assess the situation and take action, no matter what. Death... seeing it happen, made it happen, unexpectedly or deliberately, several times either from many possible angles and situations. Dramas got old, so I don't hang out with too emotional people, can't be your nurse, "mommy" or psychologist forever, get fucking shit together you're old enough to THINK. Not too proactive people are around, or it's just me not going too far and staying around my "friends" who are all mostly whores, chads and sluts that had I had actually and unexpectedly befriended for years to come.
A lot of more shit to tell, and all of it was sugar coated to sound less bad.

However, even with all that..
I think life has a lot to offer, not really, we gotta go places and find the offers or made them possible with our own actions.
Point is, this ain't so bad.






Also, I had...
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