150 MPH Lawnmower
Mallory   British Columbia, Canada
 
 
Children's Librarian for the city library; freelance illustrator; writer.
Admin for UGC 6s and Newbie Mixes
ESEA demoman and medic



synth: I've almost perfected my Hightower rollout as soldier
synth: I need to practice my 2Fort rollout


AH! Bunnysaur: Oh, got to the part with all the penix
AH! Bunnysaur: *penis
AH! Bunnysaur: I can't type I should just give up

fade: sniper v sniper is pretty random tbh
fade: i shouldn;t even take 1v1s with them
AH! Bunnysaur: sniper v sniper melee
AH! Bunnysaur: plz
AH! Bunnysaur: fade
fade: i'd win everythime
fade: I'm the melee king
fade has changed their name to DEATHMELON.

Zyc: I have an unusual
Zyc: Did I mention I have an unusual

Gabe: Some people don't think soldier should be an airplane

Gabe: Their body is a tongue

1:59 PM - bleh: i just realized, spy rarely says anything french
1:59 PM - bleh: but med and heavy say things in their native language
1:59 PM - bleh: like med says danke
1:59 PM - bleh: and heavy says pootis

keep this retard away: lobsters have 100 chromosomes, so does sprok :D

5:56 AM - Peppercorn 5 AM i58 Hype!: They went full Jasmine Tea
5:56 AM - vhnhjh lft: holy shit
5:56 AM - vhnhjh lft: yeah i was about to say that
5:56 AM - Peppercorn 5 AM i58 Hype!: Jasmine tea in spirit
5:56 AM - vhnhjh lft: pushing=jasmine tea
5:56 AM - Peppercorn 5 AM i58 Hype!: It is now
5:56 AM - Peppercorn 5 AM i58 Hype!: lol
5:57 AM - vhnhjh lft: chris pratt invented the "push" move in 1987
5:57 AM - Peppercorn 5 AM i58 Hype!: Mhm
5:57 AM - vhnhjh lft: while trying to make glue
5:57 AM - vhnhjh lft: fun fact
5:57 AM - Peppercorn 5 AM i58 Hype!: He even have a nifty soundtrack to go with it
5:57 AM - vhnhjh lft: yeah he does :D

pazer: I'm just gonna go kill myself now, it's a tree stump, and it outplayed you.

vhnhjh: Oh whoops I got lost and grabbed the closest black man

Grumpy: Why doesn't Mallory have a driver's license? Because she drove over all of the pedestrians - IN HER AIRPLANE.

10:07 PM - FROGSQUIDDDER: HOLY SHIT
10:07 PM - FROGSQUIDDDER: I JUST HIT THE NUTTIEST FUCKING AIRSHOT ON THIS MOSQUITO
10:07 PM - FROGSQUIDDDER: IM A GOD
10:08 PM - FROGSQUIDDDER: this is why i deserve to be in IM

Murmur : glitch has the best flicks but flick's steam glitches out


bleh: fuck lions and crocodiles and shit
bleh: hippos are the tanks of the animal world
Mallory: They seem like pretty good damage-dealers too though
Mallory: That's poor design balance right there :(

vhnhjh lft: if a demo lays traps is he gay
vhnhjh lft: ?
Mallory: Yes, very
Mallory: His traps are there to lure innocent straight boys into falling for them

Cobalt: Being afraid of the pyro update is like being afraid of ghosts
Cobalt: They're not real, but would be scary if they were
Cobalt: You know
Cobalt: Zombies
Cobalt: Pyro update
Coblat: things that aren't real

2w.Sovereign: I find it really easy
2w.Sovereign: to shoot at shadows on a bright and colourful pallette
2w.Sovereign: lol
Mal LFS/LFP: wow that sounds very poetic
Mal LFS/LFP: you wrote a gamer haiku
2w.Sovereign: thanks
2w.Sovereign: I call it
2w.Sovereign: Second Wind
Mal LFS/LFP: the lol really seals it

Grumpy: you walrused all over my nuts

There’s "floor cloud", "ceiling cloud"... and when it’s in the closet, it’s a sauna. - my mother, 2017
Currently Offline
Last Online 2 hrs, 44 mins ago
Artwork Showcase
I'm back
4 1
Where did I go?
For the past two years I've been working at an amazing job, but one that has had a very adverse effect on my hands. I have developed severe RSI in both my left and right hand, with every joint in my thumb, index and middle finger affected, as well as parts of both of my palms and other fingers. As a result, I have to take a break from gaming.

I intend to return after doing physio and resting my hands, since I have now been promoted to a more stable position with more varied work to take the pressure off of my hands. I miss you all, and hope to game with all of you soon!

Admin Stuff

You can ask me questions but I won't always have an immediate solution. If I'm not online, please go to the appropriate discord for questions.

If you're adding me

I've been getting more and more scam accounts trying to add me for my shitty low-tier unusuals, which means I've started rejecting requests from accounts with low playtime or otherwise uninhabited looks. If I rejected you and you actually needed to talk to me and not OFFER GUD DEEL on my shitty unusuals which are not for sale, leave a comment on my profile.


Links

UGC [www.ugcleague.com]
ESEA [play.esea.net]
Youtubes (PoVs and cat videos)
Art Blog [alissa-king.tumblr.com]
Personal Library Catalogue! [piperita.libib.com]
Arts people have done for me! [imgur.com]

There’s "floor cloud", "ceiling cloud"... and when it’s in the closet, it’s a sauna. - my mother, 2017
raxozellet Jun 2 @ 3:50pm 
every hour is....…\.......\.
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every minute is.../...........\.
misery…………,/-,.---.,..…\.
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every second...|..O.\.O…./..\.
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suffering…….-/,,,___,,--‘¯......\.
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salem Apr 18 @ 10:10pm 
When J. Cole album drop, I gotta disappear for a minute to make room for the intellectual lyricism that I’m about to receive. Don’t call, text, or snap me.
Mr.Mafia Birb Apr 14 @ 6:21pm 
Hi. To be respectful, I'm going to put an explanation for sending you a friend d invite. I was going through the discussions for tf2, and I came across you. You see.ed to be a nice person, and I thought "hey maybe they might want to be my friend." I always like making new friends in both rest life and online, because it leads to new experiences and fun moments. If you reject, I fully understand. (Also, even as a 14 year old, i dont believe in flirting until I'm in college or whatever. I also don't care if you are of opposite gender, all I care about is if you're a nice person.) Sorry for the essay explanation, I just hoped I could make a new friend.
salem Feb 27 @ 1:30pm 
SHOULD I DISCLOSE MY IQ TO MY MANAGER?
I'm afraid I'll trigger some insecurity in him and he'll start looking for reasons to get rid of me. Whenever he assigns me a task, he acts proud of himself for thinking he's keeping me busy for the next few weeks. He actually looks disappointed when I'm done with the assignment by the following morning. He can't keep me busy, and I seem to be frustrating him because of it. My IQ test came back with a score of 146, higher than 99.9% of the population. I can be really dumb in many areas, but computer programming is what my brain is wired for, so it does it really fast. I don't even have to be at a computer for my brain to keep programming out a solution, so when I return to my desk I merely type out what my brain has already solved.
salem Feb 22 @ 8:36pm 
hello! sorry for scare, but just notice profile on the Steam Community. you know how hard it are to find girls who play video game nowadays??? well, Im glad I stumble apon this little prof cause I gotta say.... ur prety cute!! ^ ((sorry for scare, no trouble ) well... I was wondering if u wanted to play tf2 with me (Im a plat sniper, so I can carry my little princes if need. =-}) CUZ I really want someone to pub wit me.. hey hey, maybe even I could get you unusual as little gift. you like Buring? Me too, me too. anyways any, do you maybe have Skype? (no scare. no scare, I iust like meating eye to eye.) if we skype, I think we could have some good buddy commucation. :)) ( i can even turn down my dubstep music in the background if you want...) add me if you want please, I jsit need friend maybe even girlfriend, to play video with.m I can be the perfect guy for you, trust!! ill buy whatever, do whatever, okay?? jsit pick up that phone and CALL. :)
Niðstång Jan 20 @ 2:25pm 
Added for ESEA