Cool Guy Sexhaver
ACE COOL   United States Virgin Islands
 
 
When i was younger, back in the 90s, we had no internet pornography. You had to get your porn the old fashioned way. For me, it was my first ever Playboy. I found it while working my first ever summer job. It was in the break room, and i stole it and took it home.

It didnt take long until i was jerking off all over this magazine. Id never had a porn mag of my own before and i was obsessed with this thing. Id jerk off to it every day. I memorized every page, every model, and i came on every single one of them. Fairly normal behaviour i guess, but it got a bit weirder with me the longer it went on. See, i came on this same magazine every day, for years. So the pages naturally got a bit stuck together. I didnt care. Id pull them apart, come on them, and then just hide it back under the bed. I also started to get pretty obsessed with my own cum. Id jerk off onto the Playboy and most times try and eat my own cum off the page when i was done. 9 times out of 10 id find it too gross once id blown my load, but every now and again id go the whole hog and eat my entire load right off the already horrendously semen soaked pages.

This literally kept on going for years. The magazine was barely recognizable after a while. Some of the pages honestly turned a shade of green. That just made me even more excited. Id sniff the smell of years of stale jizz on it and that would just make me more excited. Hell its even getting me hard thinking about it now. After id eventually ruined every single page in the magazine that had a naked woman on it, i took to jerking off to the adverts in the back page just because there would be pictures of scantily clad women in them
Achievement Showcase
3,226
Achievements
5
Perfect Games
33%
Avg. Game Completion Rate

Recent Activity

33 hrs on record
last played on Aug 20
200 hrs on record
last played on Aug 19
AreX #4-digits Oct 15, 2016 @ 2:45am 
Add me back!! Playing Shadow Warrior 2!!
Grendalin Oct 8, 2016 @ 10:18pm 
10/10 comment on that
Grendalin Oct 8, 2016 @ 10:18pm 
I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Grendalin Oct 8, 2016 @ 10:17pm 
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid.
NECROCANNIBAL Aug 20, 2016 @ 8:27am 
Such cowardness
lol⁶⁵ Oct 23, 2015 @ 8:43pm 
9/11 could use more salt