horker
Kellan Dietrich   Altamonte Springs, Florida, United States
 
 
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I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head and I can hold my breath for ten minutes. To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Fouke's strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a Pygmy Negro man, and a rare Deepwater Jew. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul.
Currently Offline
Last Online 11 days ago
Screenshot Showcase
Selfie time with they boys #squad #mirage #nofilter
Favorite Game

Recent Activity

2.3 hrs on record
last played on Oct 26
1,279 hrs on record
last played on Oct 25
15.7 hrs on record
last played on Oct 5
AnubAce Mar 10 @ 1:00pm 
bruh momento numero dos
Saltycaptain Feb 12 @ 5:58pm 
big daddy I need you to smelt your smegma into a cockring, its the only way I can yoink it anymore youve spoiled me UwU ~<3
Gohma Jan 23, 2018 @ 7:15pm 
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Saltycaptain Jan 18, 2018 @ 1:38pm 
ᶦ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ ᶦᶠ ᵃᶰʸ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ♥♥♥♥S ᶜᵒᵖʸ ᵃᶰᵈ ᵖᵃˢᵗᵉ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᶦᶫᶫ ᵇᵉ ᶦᶰ ˢᵉʳᶦᵒᵘˢ ᵗʳᵒᵘᵇᶫᵉ
halloween crab Jan 8, 2018 @ 11:35pm 
I have always thought this was my super power. I could use it to fake a fart to get someone to leave my personal space or avoid talking to strangers. I generally share my talents with boyfriends at the 6th month mark. Today I learned that I am destined for much greater things.

After a stressful day I decided to take a bath. I don't usually take baths and after a few minutes I remembered why as I once again realized how ♥♥♥♥ing boring baths are.

So like any good super hero I started to play with my super power. But my period also started today and instead of a jet of water I expelled a dark, inky cloud of uterine lining. Like a disgusting ♥♥♥♥ing octopus. Or sea cucumber. Or other ocean invertebrate that expels its innards to flee attack.
halloween crab Jan 8, 2018 @ 11:35pm 
I have always been able to queef on command. The best way I can describe it is I suck in my stomach then contract my abs. This sucks in air through my hoo ha. I can then bear down like I'm trying to poop and it pushes the air out making a rather impressive queef. If I am in a bath tub I can suck up water and shoot it a couple inches.