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9 of 10 (90%) achievements earned:

Personal Achievements
 
Unlocked Oct 17, 2015 @ 1:21pm

Give It The Fingers

Successfully enter both your quips in a round
Unlocked Oct 17, 2015 @ 1:23pm

Quip It Good

Win both battles in a round
Unlocked Oct 17, 2015 @ 1:25pm

Quipee-ki-yay!

Win all battles in Rounds 1 and 2
Unlocked Nov 21, 2015 @ 12:58pm

Eighters Gonna Eight

Play an 8-player game
Unlocked Dec 21, 2015 @ 6:53pm

Hi, Jinx!

Enter the same thing as your opponent
Unlocked Oct 23, 2015 @ 4:15pm

The Titular Achievement

Get a Quiplash! (sweep votes in a 5+-player game)
Unlocked Oct 17, 2015 @ 1:52pm

He Who Lashes Last…

Get 70% or more of the votes in The Last Lash
Unlocked Nov 21, 2015 @ 1:01pm

Sitting Ovation

Play a game with an Audience
Unlocked Nov 21, 2015 @ 1:35pm

Meatloaf Candy

Write "meatloaf candy" and win a battle with it



Quip Pro Quo

Write a quip that Schmitty actually responds to