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Help us translate Steam

Ontario, Canada
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You've been attacked by the "Fail Whale"! Send him to attack 10 other people or you are a fail!
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•POST THIS WINDMILL ON NEIN OTHER PROFILES TO KEEP STEAM PROPERLY AIR CONDITIONED•
Have a nice day!
THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW
YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.
1. say your name ten times.
2.say your mom's name five times.
3. say your crushes three times
4. paste this to four other steam friends.
If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.
But if you read this and do not paste this, then you
will have very bad luck.
SEND THIS TO 5 STEAM FRIENDS IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN
YOU'RE DONE PRESS SPACE AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS
ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS