⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⢀⣠⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄
⢀⣾⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⢻⡿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣦⡹⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣦⠹⠿⠿⣿⣿⣧⡀
⠸⠿⠿⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⡇
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⡿⠁⠄⢀⣴⣿⡿⠁
⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⠟⢋⣴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡿⠋⣠⣾⣿⠟⠋⠄⣠⣶⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄
⠄⣰⣿⡿⠋⠄⠈⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⢀⡾⣡⣾⣿⠋⠁⠄⢠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
⢰⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣌⠻⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⢱⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠂⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⡆
⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁
𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!

Best tank driver I ever had. Best job I ever had. We've killed many a tanks together. But he still loves to eat black bean paste as a snack inside the tank...smells like ♥♥♥♥.

January 23rd, 2010.

I was playing Command and Conquer like I do every Tuesday night with a couple of randoms when one of them told me that I was really good and to join his Teamspeak Server and we could keep going. As soon as I joined, he told me that he didn't really want to play, but needed a Social Security Number for his friend "Liverspots", who was an illegal immigrant in our country. At first, I was very hesitant and told him that I don't even know you guys. He then told me that if he didn't have a Social Security number for his friend, that he would be deported back to Finland. I gave it to him - he immediately kicked me out of his Teamspeak server - I knew that something was majorly wrong.

January 26th, 2010.

As I was practicing for my journeymen plumbers license on a couple of pieces of PVC, roughly a bakers dozen hispanic men bust in my front door and drop kick every object in my house before finally stumbling upon me. I am flailing around on the ♥♥♥♥king floor trying not to get kicked by these mother♥♥♥♥♥♥ers and swinging a skimpy 1/2" wide 3 foot long piece of PVC at them. Keep in mind that each one of these guys was at a bare minimum - 6'8" tall.

After rolling around on the floor and attempting to dodge these guys leg blows, Kyle rides into my house on an electric scooter and runs right into my dads antique 4 foot bong - which contained his ashes that were to be spread around Lake Alan Henry. He jumped off the scooter, got right down next to my peckker and with his face approximately a half inch from it, spit his chewing tobacco right on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ side of it (my shorts had obviously ridden down to about ankle level during this ridiculous assault). The last thing I remember, he said "You die, your brother dies, doesn't matter 'mongst me", and punched me in the ear with brass knuckles.

April 26th, 2019.

After having my identity stolen and getting deported to Finland, I must say it is outstanding to be a part of this country. I live in a little town outside of Helsinki, where I practice plumbing under the best Master Plumber in the tri-county area. The weather is great, the people are nice, and the noise pollution levels are kept to a bare minimum around my apartment. Although I do legally have to go by the name Liver Spots now, there really isn't much to complain about. Life is great.

Thank you Kyle, and may our paths cross again one day.