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10 of 10 (100%) achievements earned:

Personal Achievements
 
Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 1:29pm

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Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 1:27pm

Click on door 430 five times.

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 12:46pm

Achievement

This is an achievement.
Unlocked Dec 30, 2014 @ 2:00pm

Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 12:47pm

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked Dec 30, 2014 @ 9:00am

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 12:51pm

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 1:30pm

Go outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 12:58pm

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.
Unlocked Dec 29, 2014 @ 1:50pm

Unachievable

It is impossible to get this achievement.