Wolfenstein: Youngblood sucked dick. The Story feels like a sparknotes summary.

The best level, unfortunately, is the first level, on the blimp thing. After that, you kind of just have about 4 missions in the game left. if you don’t count the side “missions” that can be boiled down to “kill this nazi/thing” or "press <interaction key> here".

Aside from that, you cant pause, you have to grind for better power-ups and money(or also REAL money! thanks for the idea EA!) to get better weapon add-ons (rather than finding weapon upgrade kits), the nazis respawn way to quickly, and it just feels empty.

You’d figure with it being such a new game, and being worked on by the same people who worked on the Dishonored series, that the map would look phenomenal, which up close, it does! But after spending about 15 minutes climbing to the higher points of the towers, you’d expect more than seeing the surrounding buildings, and beyond that…nothing? its like nothing exists outside a 10 mile radius, and the sky is always dingy and grey, which wouldn’t bother me if it wasn’t pretty sunny in most other parts of the maps.



=====SPOILERS BELOW!!!=====

There’s about 40 minutes of cutscenes, but they don’t do a good job of telling the story(or lack thereof). In chronological order(not the order they were shown), the important ones they go from:

•"dad’s missing?nobody knows where he went! here are some clues! lets find him!“

•"you know where dad is? thanks french lady and mute man!”

•"i found out he went to lab X! heres a tape recording! theres a lot of close ups on this creepy mute guy…thats weird! is this too good to be true? nahh"

•research girl:*sees some random picture of a nazi on the computer terminal* “this random image i found with no prior context looks the exact same as mute dude…let me use my spy hearing device to spy on them…oh, they want to kill us? let me use the secret code phrase that we made up specifically for when the people we’re working with are planning on putting sedatives in our wine and killing us in out sleep so they can know to pretend to be asleep!”

•oh no! the mute was really a Nazi all along! oh no! he has power armor! and its super high tech! oh no they escaped! at least our now one eyed friend is okay! and she has a note from Set that she forgot to mention!

•now that we got through lab X, we’re in a cave! oh shit its dad!
BJ: “ah man, im so bad, i killed hitler between new colossus and now, and now the world is ending! i cant fix it :( and idk how to use this god key to open the door…” *shootout with nazis* “whats this note you gave me? ZOMG, i guess i can break it in half and give you both a piece! Now you have telekinesis! (of all of the cool powers you could get from something called the god key, this is what they went with. Stunning) I’ll hold off the incoming nazis by shooting to the beat of Staying alive by the bee gees

•Bad guy: "Hello, I’m bad guy, here’s my audition for the role of joker in the new remake of suicide squad! as if the first wasn’t bad enough! and also somehow i knew they were gonna come out guns blazing on my floor, let me meet them there by myself instead of sending my people!”

•lets sit in the rain a bit, i think we earned it, oh no! a bad guy plane! oh hey! its grace! now everything is okay! oh haha, so many funny one liners and sass! i guess we’ll hold down this place! group shot!!! now lets hang out on this probably third degree burn-causing flaming hunk of robot shit to do an end of game scene where we talk about how the next one will be in the sky! Hope you liked Bioshock infinite!

Yeah, i was really excited about the game, even though it was going to be multiplayer, but over all? i hope bethesda does better on the next one(i personally kinda liked Bioshock Infinite). Y'all are having a tough time on y'alls new games, have mercy on DOOM Eternal.

might be missing some things, but i’ll be damned if this isn’t proof enough to buy this with extreme caution.