Up me Bottom
once i was out shopping and i met this lovely woman, there was a connection instantly as we both fell in love with one another. As we were both shopping in Waitrose we would walk around together and got to know each other. A week later i messaged her hoping to meet up and she agreed to, we agreed to meet in a park and enjoy the rest of the day together. There in the park she was, just as beautiful as she was when i first met her last week. We spent the entire night together and things got a bit fruity. We made sweet love in a disabled toilet opposite from the Waitrose we met in.
Later the next day i found out that she had a husband so they also made love to make it seem, if she was pregnant, that it would look like his baby. a couple months later i received an alarming message telling me that she was pregnant. We planned to drown the unborn life ruiner in the sink as soon as it was born but she didn't like that plan. So instead we got it aborted but this aggressive peice of ♥♥♥♥ thing started running around to room and swinging its damn ambilical cord around like a lasoo. I grabbed hold of that ♥♥♥♥ baby and tried to drown it in the public pond after catching the failed abortion gnawing on a piece of bark. The thing played dead i left the thing there hopefully it would starve by a month or so. Me and that lovely woman i met who gave birth to the devil of a child never spoke again. Until one day i get a message from her telling the baby has grown up to be a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ deadbeat ♥♥♥♥♥♥ by age 11. After that i never spoke to her again.

And that was how i met your mother
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SplitzBruv Sep 4 @ 2:56am 
Good at fortnite