•When the thing says accept do not click it its a test.
•When you have an awp dont use it use your pistol instead and close your eyes and pray you headshot a person because both of the weapons require aim.
•When you have an awp jump and its 1v5 jump everywhere and 360 mlg quickscope everybody cause you know its accurate, if your enemies dodge that bullet their fucking speed hacking like a bitch they are report them in everything and tell them to fuck off and abandon the fucking match.
•When you cant afford a P90 go afk and wait till the round ends till you get money to afford the P90.
•Whenever someone tells you you're shit at the game zeus them at the start of the game.
•You are the leader and you know it whoever that does not listen to you shall be kicked.
•When the other team is winning call them a hacker and should play without hacks.
•When you're not top fragging, you're goal is now set to top frag and when your teammate defuses the bomb KNIFE HIM and take that defuse like the boss you are.
•When you have a smoke, a defuse kit and flash bangs you shall go ninja mode and ninja defuse that bomb like its nothing and when people tell you to stop YOU FUCKING ZEUS THEM.
•Whenever your the last person standing DONT SAVE THATS FOR PUSSIES you go all out and fuck the enemies with your knife.
•When you have an awp throw that motherfucker away cause that shit requires aim.
•When you have a P90 and you see an awp dont bother picking it up you're only good at the P90
•The P in P90 stands for Pro. Like you.
•When told to pick up the AWP, stare at it and go AFK.
•Don't buy kits, this is actually team death match, the bomb wont ever get planted.
•You are amazing with the desert eagle, don't let anyone ever tell you different, not even the scoreboard.
•Very important: That thing attached to some guns is called a silencer, and you have to take it off because it reduces damage a lot and will get you more kills.
•VAC is a good anti cheat.
•Skins make you better at the game.
•When a teammate asks for a drop, drop them your handgun.
•Never adapt to the game. Don't betray yourself like that. Just do the same thing over and over again and wait until it works.
•Dust 2 is the only map in the game. There aren't any others. Don't argue.
•If you lose the first round. You MUST ALWAYS Eco/Save. Which means buy armour and an SMG/Shotgun of your choosing.
•When going through doors, always make sure that you block the doors so no one can pass. Ignore the hate of your teammates, you're pro and you're gonna get mad kills. You're also shielding them from bullets. How nice of you!
•Crouching doesn't improve accuracy, but do you know what does? Jumping! Be a fucking kangaroo and watch the mad kills pour in. EVERYONE LOVES KANGAROOS.
•50 points to Gryffindor every time you change weapons.
•State that all SMG's take skill to use from no less than 4 inches away. Your gun is cheaper so it is worse. Rub it in with a teabag afterwards. Especially if you have a P90.
•Always tell the opposing team to good luck and have fun when warm-up ends. At half time, treat them like they murdered your family. (Be sure to take note of their nationality!)
•If you see a chicken in your gameplay, you absolutely must under any circumstance, kill that damn chicken. It must die. THIS IS NON NEGOTIABLE.
•Recoil control is a myth. Like Bigfoot.
•If you need to get around the map in a hurry, get out your Negev.
•The PP-Bizon is the discount Negev.
•Don't waste money on a helmet. $350 is too expensive. You wont die. Ever.
•You need to Look at the ground where you are going make sure you don't trip!
•What the fuck is strategy?