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72 of 85 (85%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Spring Fresh

Clean any map adequately
Unlocked Jan 6, 2016 @ 6:40am

Employee of the Month

Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office
Unlocked Jan 11, 2016 @ 5:26am

You're Fired!

Get fired!
Unlocked Jan 6, 2016 @ 5:06am

Blood Soaked

Spill 100 dirty buckets
Unlocked Jan 12, 2016 @ 9:01am

Blaze of Glory

Incinerate 2000 items
Unlocked Jan 10, 2016 @ 1:29pm

Bloody Hell!

Mop up 10,000 splats
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 6:05am

Who's for Dinner?

Get eaten
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 7:13am

Top Brass

Pick up 800 casings
Unlocked Jan 12, 2016 @ 1:15pm

Taking Out the Trash

Pick up 1000 pieces of trash
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 3:44pm

Ubermensch

Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare
Unlocked Jan 20, 2016 @ 2:30am

Pedestrian

Track over 20,000 footprints
Unlocked Jan 20, 2016 @ 4:49am

Janicide

Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge
Unlocked Jan 19, 2016 @ 3:16pm

Need a Hand?

Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic
Unlocked Jan 20, 2016 @ 6:55am

Bins? Limbs!

Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times
Unlocked Jan 18, 2016 @ 8:50am

First Aid

Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits
Unlocked Jan 11, 2016 @ 5:26am

The Nose Knows

Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours
Unlocked Jan 20, 2016 @ 4:51am

Chew on This!

Throw 100 items into sand traps
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 7:27am

Disintegrator

Fry 500 items with the plasma welder
Unlocked Jan 20, 2016 @ 4:02am

The Mops Of Wrath

Complete Athena's Wrath Level
Unlocked Jan 11, 2016 @ 2:09pm

Anti-Virus

Complete Caduceus Level
Unlocked Jan 12, 2016 @ 9:24am

Ice-Cold Cleana

Complete Cryogenesis Level
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 9:28am

Sandblasted

Complete Unearthly Excavation Level
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 5:20pm

Pine Fresh

Complete Hydroponic Hell Level
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 3:47am

Surgical Sweeper

Complete Evil Science Level
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 7:08am

Deep-Sea Dry-cleaning

Complete Paintenance Level
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 4:35am

Operation Brownwash

Complete Waste Disposal Level
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 4:27am

Refined

Complete Unrefinery Level
Unlocked Jan 9, 2016 @ 10:15am

One Mop To Rule Them All

Complete All major Official Levels
Unlocked Jan 15, 2016 @ 7:51am

Pass The Torch

Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor
Unlocked Jan 19, 2016 @ 3:06pm

Louis and Clean

Complete Gravity Drive Level
Unlocked Jan 15, 2016 @ 7:51am

Big Banger Burnout

Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 2:53am

Clean Freak

Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave
Unlocked Jan 9, 2016 @ 4:08pm

Employee of the Year

Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards
Unlocked Jan 11, 2016 @ 5:42am

Identity Theft

Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Jan 11, 2016 @ 8:25am

Bring the Thunder

Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on
Unlocked Jan 15, 2016 @ 4:00am

Master of the Beats

Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game
Unlocked Jan 15, 2016 @ 4:01am

Plague Bearer

Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something
Unlocked Jan 12, 2016 @ 1:03pm

Head Hunter

Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 9:28am

Brushed Steel

Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level
Unlocked Jan 11, 2016 @ 5:08am

Bushwhacked

Complete Overgrowth Level
Unlocked Jan 12, 2016 @ 6:40am

Bob's Legacy

Find Bob
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 4:42pm

"Red Keycard"

Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room
Unlocked Jan 14, 2016 @ 5:23pm

Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office
Unlocked Jan 15, 2016 @ 7:51am

Eggregious

Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 3:47am

Lost in Space and Time

Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 4:48am

Wicked Unliving

Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 6:48am

Thursday the 12th

Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 6:48am

Bad Dreams on Helm Street

Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 6:48am

Harroween

Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 6:48am

The Shimmering

Collect the axe and return it to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 6:48am

Never Put It On

Collect the ring and return it to your office
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 6:48am

House of Honor

Clean the entire House of Horror level
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 6:48am

Back From Whence It Came

Destroy the Bad Banger
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 4:52am

Not Quite a Lumberjack

Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper
Unlocked Jan 13, 2016 @ 5:59am

Cleanliness is Godliness

Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 6:30am

Christmas Crisis Corrected

Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 12:47pm

Sanitized Earth

Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 6:33am

Bloody Incompetent

Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 3:06am

St. Nick's Boomstick

Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 8:18am

The Red Nose Knows

Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 6:30am

Rooks Kept

Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 6:30am

Ballistic Weaponry

Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 8:18am

Thunder Candle

Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 3:39am

Head Hunter

Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 6:30am

Santa Hats Must Die!

Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 3:35pm

Tower of Babel

Build a stack of 10 stools
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 3:32am

The Day the Funk Died

Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire
Unlocked Jan 8, 2016 @ 2:53am

Cold Storage

Complete Frostbite Level
Unlocked Jan 6, 2016 @ 6:40am

Biomassive Breakdown

Complete Incubation Emergency Level
Unlocked Jun 30, 2018 @ 7:24am

Sanitary Supremacy

Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level
Unlocked May 29, 2018 @ 10:55am

Mr. Two Million Dollars

Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office
Unlocked May 29, 2018 @ 11:17am

Swept Under The Carpet

Complete Uprinsing Level
Unlocked Jul 7, 2018 @ 8:59am



Crystal Clear

Complete Core Sample Level
0 / 1

Pest Control

Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level
0 / 1

Bleach and Clear

Complete Penumbra Level
0 / 1

Audacious Oddities

Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office
0 / 10

Lair Care

Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level
0 / 1

Teeth for Tunes

Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark
0 / 1

Blood in the Water

Go for a swim with Sharks
0 / 1

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Tank

Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy
0 / 500

Double-Oh Dumbass

Foolishly activate the Death Ray
0 / 1

Locked In

Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong
0 / 1

Death From Above

Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon
0 / 1

Cat-astrophe

Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!
0 / 1

Orbital Bang-bardment

Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon
0 / 1