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10 of 10 (100%) achievements earned:

Personal Achievements
 
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 2:44am

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Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 2:40am

Click on door 430 five times.

Click on door 430 five times.
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 2:28am

Achievement

This is an achievement.
Unlocked Aug 11, 2015 @ 3:00pm

Commitment

Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday.
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 2:28am

Welcome back!

Quit the game and then start it again.
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 3:02am

Speed run

Complete The Stanley Parable in under 4 minutes 22 seconds (not including load times)
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 2:30am

You can't jump

No seriously, we disabled it.
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 3:07am

Go outside

Don't play The Stanley Parable for five years.
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 2:37am

Beat the game

Complete The Stanley Parable.
Unlocked Jul 22, 2015 @ 3:11am

Unachievable

It is impossible to get this achievement.