27 people found this review helpful
Not Recommended
0.0 hrs last two weeks / 1.1 hrs on record
Posted: Feb 14, 2017 @ 8:10am
Updated: Jul 20, 2017 @ 11:05pm

They always say you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, but that doesn't mean the cover is never accurate. One look at Porradaria 2 tells you everything you need to know about it. This is the lowest of the low-rent Symphony of the Night imitations, hacked together with little or no attention to detail. Game balance is going to be all over the place, levels aren't going to make much sense, and the art is going to be a slideshow of MSPaint doodles. The nicest thing I will say about it, and I mean this, is that there's a not completely terrible game hiding in here somewhere, and if everything I just said didn't put you off, you might actually find it.

The game opens with a rousing intro featuring a butchered rendition of the DIE MONSTER opening of Symphony, establishing your goal of wresting a bag of infinite potato chips from a wizard. You can be a ninja or a swordsman on this quest through a sprawling, sparsely-decorated castle of zombies and spikes. As you delve deeper and defeat basic bosses like recolored enemies, you'll pick up magic spells and items that allow you to move about the castle more freely and grab those pesky powerups that were always just out of reach.

Parody is the name of the game here, pretty obvious between the potato chip wizard and the useless crayon castle map you get at the start. The first boss you fight is a recolor of a regular enemy and says as much when you face him, and all the other bosses accuse you of killing their sibling at some point. None of the parody is actually worked into the game itself, mind you, it's all just layered uselessly on top of a flimsy framework. This needs to be rule #1 for anyone trying to make a parody game, you need the humor woven through everything, the enemies and items and game flow included, not just tacked on in scenes that try way too hard. Actually rule #1 is "Don't make parody games, what the hell is wrong with you" but that other thing I said makes a good rule #2.

Once you get past the forced humor, you're left with an extremely sparse metroidvania that's going to take you an hour to beat, if you have the fortitude. There's something like six areas of the castle, each with health, magic, and mobility upgrades to find. The ninja ones include a double-jump and a super jump that both make him invincible for a second, not exactly groundbreaking but at least a little interesting. Magic is just tossing fires or boulders, and is used to open certain paths. The freezer area is unique in that it does constant damage to you unless you have a scarf item, but is also entirely beatable without it. Most of the bosses are brain-dead easy but a few of them have way, way too much health, including the final boss which is an unpleasant hike in difficulty.

I can see little hints of decent gameplay here and there, and honestly outside of the awful forced humor, it's not an awful game. There's a castle to explore and items to get and monsters to fight and it all works, if not terribly pretty or polished or balanced. Porradaria 2 would make a great student project or practice game before pulling together a team for a real release, but as a retail project I can't possibly recommend it. If the developer is reading this then I implore you, focus less on humor (as in not at all) and more on game mechanics. Do that and hire an artist, and I bet you could come up with something I could recommend.

Did you enjoy this review? I certainly hope so, and I certainly hope you'll check out more of them at https://goldplatedgames.com/ or on my curation page!
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Developer response:
CleanWater  [developer] Posted: Feb 19, 2017 @ 4:51pm
Hi Audish,

Many, many thanks for this review.

I really would like to see more reviews like this one in the store page, instead of free insults or fake and baseless reviews like I mentioned in the Defamatory Reviews post.

Valve claims that the reviews system is for the customers, not for developers, but I honestly can't see how the examples I mentioned above can be of any help to let customers decide which games to buy or not.
Your in-deep review, in other hand, truly exposes your opinion about this game and give an actual feedback to other customers. It also pinpoints some things I should improve or avoid in future projects.

To say it frankly, I disagree with a lot of things on your review, but I always take everything from legitimate reviews in consideration (both positive and negative).

I hope to see you playing Porradaria 3 someday (and maybe the Vladmirson DLC?) and I also hope to come up with your expectations.

Best wishes,
Alysson L. Neto
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Starke Mar 13, 2017 @ 5:39pm 
To be honest, even the forced humor and bad art are supposed to be part of the joke, but I can't blame anyone who isn't brazilian for not getting that. If anything, it's the localization that's at fault here, and the dev hilsemf seems to be aware that most of these jokes won't translate very well if at all. I bet it's the same about everything else in this game except for gaming references. This game is supposed to follow the classical "so bad it's good" rule, but since its jokes translate so poorly, most people can only see the "bad" part of it. Dev is right about one thing: he should just focus on the brazilian market when making other games like this. If he can come up with jokes that are more universal, then he should think about localizing it to english and releasing worldwide.
jaket Mar 10, 2017 @ 5:22am 
"One man's trash is another man's treasure"
Cumprimentos dum colega dev :)
CleanWater  [developer] Mar 3, 2017 @ 12:40pm 
If I decide to keep developing worldwide games, I will take the good suggestions from Audish and make serious games from now on.

If I decide to keep doing my comedy games (which is really what I love to do), I probably will follow the example of the J-RPG big companies and don't release then outside of my country (or at least don't invest so much in worldwide marketing). They know J-RPGs are a niche outside of Japan, and won't sell that greatly out of there.

I'm tired of free insults here like I said. I'm here to work and pay my bills honestly, I strive to offer the best possible service under my limitations. So if you don't like my work, no problem, but at least respect it. Believe me, it won't hurt. =)

I wish you both a nice weekend.
CleanWater  [developer] Mar 3, 2017 @ 12:40pm 
@Dwayne West, even if it is really a pile of shit, it's my loved work I throw a lot of time and effort into it. If I can make it better, I will love to hear feedback for it.

You may think it is shit. But you need to say it in a so aggressive way? There's a lot of people who love this game, they surely will disagree with you about it.

I'm aware that most of the controversial discussion about the comedy is because of cultural differences. Did you ever heard about a camelô ? Probably not, but the best approach I found for an English translation was the word smuggler , which not reflects the true nature of it, thus making the joke lose most of it sense.

The same way I realized most of my jokes aren't fun for non-Brazilians, the same goes for jokes from your country and other countries. We won't understand then at all, it will have a different meaning for us, so we probably will simply think it is a lame and unfunny joke.
Dwanye West Feb 26, 2017 @ 3:19pm 
It doesn't matter if the feedback is constructive or not. You know your game is a pile of horse shit when tons of people tell you it is.
Audish Feb 26, 2017 @ 2:34pm 
The developer has a point, simply calling a game shit is not useful feedback to consumers or the developer. Not many devs are gracious enough to respond so honestly to criticism as they did here, and I believe they deserve respect just for that.
Dwanye West Feb 26, 2017 @ 12:42pm 
It doesn't matter if you disagree, this game is shit.