You will like me if you like someone who is:

-Richest man in the homeless shelter.

-Member of the illegally blind community.

-Post-abortion-adopted by an Italian raccoon crime family.

-Fastest and least accurate gun in the west.

-Connoisseur of all things fecal.

-Most articulate conveyor of gibberish.

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Author of the critically acclaimed, best selling and revolutionary literary works:


"From Rags to More Rags"

"Mistakenly Robbing People, Blind"

"The Top 100 Health Benefits of Eating Garbage"

"Unlucky Luke"

"Poop, Betrayal and War"

"Million Dollar Mumbo Jumbo"

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-For Business inquiries, please contact my manager, otherwise, get out of my sight. Thank you.