Jason   New Orleans, Louisiana, United States
"Humble Monthly" deal

NOTE: I am not trading my Bill's Hat, so unless you want to offer me something ridiculous, like $100 worth of keys, please don't add me.
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2,882 Hours played
(10-20-20 I am replacing my previous review/anecdote, with a newer one)
NOTE - This story includes content from the Vanilla Expanded mod collection, as well as the Royalty DLC.

So a 'wild man' wanders into the fields near our small colony. His name is Agwar-son. Sounds like a viking name.....perhaps he's a refugee of some conquered village. We convince him to join us, and discover that while he's a lazy worker, he's also a terrific fighter (he enjoys a moderate/strong passion for both melee and ranged, both of which are already 10+). Our engineer whips up a bundle of shiny new plasteel throwing axes, as well as a bluefur round-shield and a fresh set of leather armor, naming him as one of our primary defenders. For good measure, our doctor also implants him with a "power claw" that fell from the sky, just in case he ever gets separated from his weapon.

Thus equipped, he's easily able to help repel several small raids, but he also helps out with the hunting, since he's tough enough that, even though the axes don't reach very far, he's not terribly concerned about getting into a close fight with a wild animal.

It's around this time that things start to go wrong. The colony decides to hunt down a rhinoceros, and before anyone else can volunteer, Agwar sneaks out to go take him down alone. By the time anyone realizes what's happened, Agwar is being charged by the angry rhino. Understandably angry, since it actually has about 8 mortal wounds already before even reaching him. As the rescuers finally reach him, Agwar has been beaten into the ground and the rhino is barely clinging to life, crawling away but quickly dispatched by the other colonists. Amazingly, Agwar gets up on his own and begins walking VERY slowly back home. This tough guy gets about ten feet, collapses, then gets back up and tries again, several times before someone is finally able to grab him and convince him to accept help. He's eventually able to get patched up and rested, and soon enough all is well.

The following year, the colony agrees to shelter an imperial, a couple of her allies, and her champion, with the understanding that she's being pursued by a number of hostiles. Our little home is ringed with a stone wall, and the single entrance is lined with bear traps, so we are confident in our defensive capabilities.

What we don't count on is a series of three raids happening so closely together that all three groups are on the map at once and converging on our walls. A wild skirmish ensues precisely where we want it to (during which time, incidentally, the imperial leader drops her laser sword, and is forced to reach for a nearby knife on the ground out of desperation), but due to sheer numbers virtually everyone is incapacitated by the time the battle is finally won.

The only ones left standing are the imperial, one of her useless allies, and our (space marine) soldier who thankfully, while not as skilled as our doctor, can still perform some badly needed first aid. He gets our actual doctor up on the makeshift operating table that was set up in the storage room near our medicine stockpile, and proceeds to deplete our supply of emergency glitterworld medicine on her, while the imperials help drag the others to their beds. Unfortunately the situation is so bad he is forced to close one gaping wound, then run to an entirely different room and do the same for another person who is slightly closer to death. And another...and another. By the time the chaos is settled, one of the imperials has died, which has caused them to abandon our agreement and pile into the shuttle that was already waiting nearby (it was a very narrow failure, time-wise), and nearly all of our people are groaning in bed, battered and broken but alive. All except for Agwar, who stoically bled to death on his bed in the corner, probably with a grim smile on his face, satisfied with the role he played in the battle. There just wasn't enough time.

Once everyone can finally walk again, we construct a funeral pyre, place him upon it, and give him a proper send-off, Darth Vader-style. Rest in peace, Agwar-son. You served us well.

Around that same time, we locate the imperial's laser sword, which *someone* discreetly kicked into a corner the moment she dropped it. We'll just, uh.....hang on to it.
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Vanilla Psycasts Expanded is potentially our Ma
Favorite Guide
Created by - Grill
268 ratings
[h1] This is all info on how to access the Easter Egg/ Two Evils World on Terraria journey mode. Other Easter Egg seeds are included as well. [/h1]
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That poor fella's really getting tired of the scavenger hunt.
Clicking links provides 100% Vitamin C !!!
Humble Monthly Bundle (ridiculous value)
Trading humble bundle leftovers!
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Recent Activity

2,882 hrs on record
Currently In-Game
2.8 hrs on record
last played on Nov 24
1.4 hrs on record
last played on Nov 16
SpellCaster Jul 8 @ 4:01pm 
+rep Great trader. Fast, friendly and reliable. Thank you buddy!
Darthmoor Oct 30, 2020 @ 10:19pm 
+REP :thumbalift: awesome trader! :)
Famashunter Sep 9, 2020 @ 1:20pm 
+REP, nice and friendly person! Thank you
kawa_ Jul 19, 2020 @ 6:12pm 
+rep good trader. thank you very much!
Milouze Jul 14, 2018 @ 9:37am 
+Rep Thanks for another smooth trade :partymoticon:
MaxBedlam Dec 7, 2017 @ 10:50am 
+rep, quick and fair trader