Recent reviews by Penrose

If you're a fan of the Mother series or games like Undertale and Deltarune, Quirkbound is a love letter to those and the JRPG genre as a whole. While it's a much shorter game compared to the previously named ones, it's full of witty jokes, nods to meme culture, and the absurd. There were moments I couldn't stop laughing, and others where I'd stop and smile, realizing just how much fun I was having. The battle system is a fun take on traditional turn-based games, with elements of defense being used as a means of offense to help you kick ass to the very end. The soundtrack has its own quirks, and is full of ear worms that you won't be able to shake. With so much bloatware plaguing so many online storefronts, Quirkbound is a gem that sticks out among the crowd, and is well worth the $8.00 price tag.

This is my first Soulsborne game. Going in, I wasn't sure what to expect, but so many of my friends recommended it so I thought I'd give it a try. At the time of writing this, I just finished naked soloing Radahn, which doesn't say much about the game, but it's something you can do and I think is exactly why it won Game of The Year in 2022.

It can be quite confusing when you mention this software to a coworker or colleague. I was recently have a conversation with someone and I told them how much I wanted to get Aseprite. I felt that it would really help me develop tilesets faster for the little game development I dabble in every now and again.

What did this moron do? They went to the store and bought me a can of Sprite. You can't even PURCHASE Sprite on Steam. Needless to say, I'm no longer acquainted with that individual. They are buried at these coordinates: -24.340206845470007, -128.33033534908657

I woke up one day and saw, (on Twitter), that Counter Strike 2, (the sequel to Counter Strike: Global Offensive), had been announced. I won't lie... it looked pretty good, (looked good).

So, as a result, I reinstalled this game after not touching it for about 4 years, (a really long time.) After reinstalling it, (to my hard drive that is plugged into my motherboard on my PC (personal computer)), I started playing, (I launched the game), and had a really bad time, (not good.)

Is it because the game is bad? No. Of course not. It was me, (myself and I), that was lacking the proper skills to compete. After taking my time to learn the mechanics, (not like a car mechanic, that would be silly,) the maps (the arenas you play on), and how to successfully navigate, (find my way through), I was hooked; similar to that of a fish that has taken a delicious bite out of a worm on a fishing rod - only to also have its mouth, (the thing it eats with), ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ destroyed (it looks messed up now.)

All in all, this game feels dated, (I have dated people before), but it also feels solid, (like the defecation I took this morning; I felt it. Don't recommend.) But, (haha "butt"), if you take your time, dedicate yourself to learning, (like you did in school, unless you were a dropout), you'll find yourself with the greatest gift, (a present), of all:

A gambling addiction. (Bad)

Sometimes I have dreams where famous author Stephen King spanks me for being a bad Vault Boy. 7/10.

When are we getting the Morbheads scenario

Made a soldier ♥♥♥♥ on a table during Christmas. Technology is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AWESOME.

I woke up one day and though to myself, "Man. I'd LOVE to play some Sid Meier's Civilization VI on the Personal Computer." Alas, the day did not go as planned. As I sat up to get out of bed, I stepped on a George Foreman grill set to maximum heat. Yes. Like World of Warcraft Legend Michael Scott, I too, suffered that same foot burn.

As I was rushed to the hospital, I decided to whip out my Brick Pouch. (A brick pouch is basically a fanny pack I keep an undisclosed amount of bricks inside of.) For every red light we hit, I'd throw 57 bricks at pedestrians minding their own business.

Once we arrived at the hospital, I announced to the entire lobby of the Emergency Room that I made up my injury so that I could school them in a classic dance battle. Everyone was stunned. The room went silent. Someone's grandpa died right there on the spot. Instead of mourning like a wimp, I began to default dance to the tune of "Hotel California" by Rick Astley. I proceeded to do this on the way out the door, and on my way home -- now without a vehicle to get me there in a timely manner.

When I got home, I booted up Sid Meier's Civilization VI and played until my nose severely bled to the point of me filling 3 separate, empty bottles of Heinz Ketchup.

If any of this confused you, that's basically what it's like to play this game.

I am going to microwave a burrito, then throw it at a Walmart salesman

I am living in your walls.